Life, Unscripted

Growing Me Up, intro

2011-09-12T14:03:00.000-07:00

Flip through the pages of your childhood, and you'll find that it's those "big" moments that stand out, that get their own chapter or perhaps a half-page photo insert, courtesy of you. Moments like - first time using the big girl potty, first bike ride without training wheels, last day of preschool before moving up to kindergarten, your first chapter book, first sleepover. You may begin to notice patterns. The things you remember most, naturally, are those that changed you profoundly, marking a new era of life, if you will, as you stepped more and more from childhood to adulthood. The world began to belong to you a little victory more each day. But maybe another pattern that I'm just now starting to see is that they also usually represent some kind of test, a time where you proved yourself and your growth.

And I think, wow. These are life's little mini-tests that mark our development and maturity. And our spiritual lives are the same.

I've been in life's classroom often in the past couple of years, and in the wake of my "final" for this particular course, I want to share the story and hopefully glean some deeper understanding. I want to tell you of a journey God has taken me on, one of fire, sanctification, romance, sweet healing, and ultimately, growth.

Best Friend once told me that when we're passing through a momentary darkness, a night time, sometimes the morning we await, the light at the end of our tunnel that gets us through, is the simple but profound truth that God is using this to mold us and teach us. That knowledge makes the unbearable bearable and, when we finally make it into the day, that new wisdom it brings is the treasure we take with us as we continue on our way.

This story is long and so as I'm writing this I'm thinking, man, I bet all four of the people who actually follow me would surely love a ten-part series of Life by Leigh ;) As silly as it sounds, and as weird as I feel doing it, I think there is a lot that others could learn from the things God has done in my life and so, what have I got to lose? I don't have a whole lot of wisdom, but the little the Lord has given me thus far is not meant to be kept to myself. So, I would like to chronicle this journey and invite you along as I explore even more where God has taken me and how in his faithfulness He brought me through. I will be honest, very honest, but I have nothing to hide. All my weaknesses point to the strength of my Savior, and who am I to withhold His glory? So walk with God and me and know that my prayer in this is that you are drawn into a better understanding of who He is and how much He loves you.

I'm guessing I'll title these posts "Growing Me Up" and will most likely not name people just for sake of privacy, ya know? Be on the lookout for Growing Me Up, part one, coming soon to a screen near you! ;)

Four Square Life

2011-06-04T21:27:00.001-07:00

As I'm lying here in bed in my locker - that's what cabins are called here at KAA - lights off, all windows open, fans on full blast trying to fight this unseasonably hot weather, my mind is reeling. I've been thinking a lot about wisdom lately. I'm inviting you on my thought journey here.

Like from proverbs, I'm trying to think how to practically make my ear attentive to wisdom and incline my heart to understanding.

Which leads me to think about Jesus, especially the earlier years of his life that aren't mentioned much. Primarily, I'm speaking about Luke 2:52, which says, "And Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man." At Kanakuk and Kids Across America, this is known as the Four Square Life.

Now, I'm pretty practical and logical when it comes to problem-solving. I identify the question, and then I look for the answer and act on it. My question is this: what practical ways can I grow like Jesus?

So, also being a goal-oriented person, I've set some goals for myself for this summer so I can better and more effectively serve the Lord on a daily and consistent basis.

Based on Luke 2:52, rearranged to fit my personal priorities:

1) in favor with God - spending at least 20 minutes of solid, solitary, unobstructed prayer time each day, in addition to time in the Word. For this, I don't want to get too caught up on the amount of time and run the risk of becoming legalistic with it, but I am aiming for quality.

2) in favor with man - intentionally serve one of my fellow staff members, outside of the people in our office, as well as write someone from back home each day. I have to be careful and pray for God to keep me humble in this as well. The purpose of gaining favor with men is to allow God to open doors for his glory through that, and I know myself well enough to know that I'll need to keep a careful eye and a check on my motives in gaining favor in the eyes of others, because it's definitely not about me.

3) in wisdom - memorize the book of James. In my quest to figure out how exactly to incline my heart to wisdom, the Lord has shown me that hiding his word in my heart is a great place to start.

4) in stature - do 10 pull-ups by the end of the summer, be able to swim butterfly well again, and run a 10k (in the Missouri mountain-hills, mind you) in 55 minutes. Working out here is becoming one of my favorite ways to pass the time. This area is so beautiful, and I love to go off and explore new running routes. Also, my office is full of guys who like to work out and are all on board with helping me train to meet my goals. Especially the 10 pull-ups. Garrett, Thomas, Zach, and Billy are all keeping me accountable, giving me pointers and schedules and exercises to do. It's so fun!

So those are my overall summer goals. More than anything, my prayer is that after this time of growing and stretching and challenging, I'll come out on the other side looking more like Jesus.

The Potter and the Clay

2011-05-30T15:46:00.001-07:00

"But now, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand."
-Isaiah 65:8

We are God's workmanship. He is the artist. We are his masterpiece. How blessed it is to have the privilege to be molded by the beautiful hands of the Father.

Let's take a look at the clay. What kind of clay is easier to work with - dry or wet? Even if you have never seen it done, that's a simple question to answer. Of course wet clay will be better to mold, to form into the perfect vessel meant for a specific purpose.

So if we're the clay, and we truly desire to be used by God, we must remain wet. Clay dries quickly, so a one time flood isn't enough. It's a daily bath, a constant stream, consistent immersion in the Lord. If we really want to be a vessel that the Lord can shape and mold, spending time with him, soaking in him, is vital.

The Wonder of the Cross

2011-04-23T09:29:00.000-07:00

2,000 years ago yesterday, Jesus was crucified. 2,000 years ago tomorrow, Jesus walked out of the grave.

I try to imagine what it would be like to be there. To have known Jesus as a man. To have watched his ministry first-hand. To have seen him killed on the cross. To have witnessed the resurrection. To have him appear to me, the God-man, alive again.

But what about this day, the in-between? Jesus was dead, but not yet risen. Did the disciples mourn? Did they have trouble sleeping? Did they wake up sick with the realization that he was gone? And what about Mary, and Mary Magdalene? They were at the tomb, waiting, when Joseph brought Jesus' body. Did they sit in silence as the stone was rolled, sealing off the one they loved? Did they cry? Did they finally pull themselves together and walk home for the Sabbath? Did any of them have doubts about his true identity as the Son of God?

I wonder sometimes why none of the gospel authors wrote much about this haunting day. Like it almost didn't exist. I bet it was eerie. I bet the emotions were perhaps some of the most devastating in history. The confusion. The heartache. The emptiness.

Praise be to the Father that he did not leave us there.

I imagine what it would be like to see my PawPaw again, sometimes. I was very young when he died, not even four. Death made his grand entrance into my life in a hospital room in Montgomery, AL. I remember him so clearly, so vividly. What would it be like to see him alive again, in this life? I imagine that feeling, and then multiply it by infinity.

Jesus is alive. Jesus did rise. How do I know? I see him, everywhere. My relationship with him has changed me in ways no other relationship has or ever could. He is the joy of my life. He is the peace that calms my storms. He is the husband, always faithful.

I thank God that his plans are always bigger than my vision. That's the theme, from creation to Jesus to now. And these plans are always better than my hopes. I fight for rest in that, when anxieties pile and doubts rear their ugly heads.

2,000 years ago today, in the midst of such turmoil, God was planning the greatest victory of all time. He was abolishing my sins from the past, present, and future. He was preparing the way for Christ's righteousness to be credited to me so that I would no longer live under the yoke of slavery and law, but live free and fully alive under the freedom of Jesus.

What makes me think that God, in his constancy, his devotion to his glory, wouldn't always seek the greatest victory from every darkness? That's his nature - that's who he is. No matter where I am, God is working things for good. He IS goodness. We see this most clearly in the resurrection.

I celebrate. I weep. I fall to my knees in thanksgiving. This weekend means life. And I want it, to the full.

All of my Heartstrings

2011-04-12T05:15:00.000-07:00

You know what? I think one of Satan's biggest tools is to try and make us feel isolated - like we are the only ones feeling a certain way, or walking through a certain valley. And then, when he has us in this place of isolation, he'll make us feel more desolate by whispering to us that it's going to be like this forever. Well, I have a few choice words for him, that's for sure.

I'm sick of it! Sick of his lies, sick of his cunning. It frustrates me most that he's watched me so closely and knows me so well that it works! I believe him, too often.

But I'm done. God help me, I will not take that bait anymore.

My friend came over two nights ago, essentially unannounced, and found me in a bad state. I've been walking through a valley for the past few weeks, and I was pretty bummed. He came in and sat with me and listened to me talk for a while. And then he spoke - and when he did I heard the voice of the Lord. Let me pause here for a moment. My recent prayers have been pleadings to God that he would no longer hide his face from me. When my friend came over unexpectedly and began to speak truth, I was so romanced... by God! It was a very personal thing for me. He knew exactly what I needed, and he provided it to me so clearly, in the form of this sweet man!

Moving on, I want to share some of his wisdom. Not long ago, he found himself in a valley as well. He'd read a lot of the same psalms I've been reading, he was at a low point, but he offered me the following, some precious trinkets of encouragement:

First of all, even in the psalms, like Psalm 13, when David is crying out, asking how long the Lord will turn away from him, that in the end... he rejoices. He praises God because of the joy of his salvation. The worst evil is not the pain in my circumstance, but rather separation from God - and I am saved from that! The loving kindness of God is still as powerful.

Second of all, it's easy to get caught up in what's going on in my own life - the hardships, the affliction, whatever - and forget about everything else. But that's never how we're called to live. I should be a servant, in every circumstance. I'm not good at that. I tend to give my stinky circumstances permission to run rampant. I'm learning to remind myself that situations don't dictate my joy, God's calling on my life, nor my identity. I'm learning to reclaim the ground that's been taken from me, in the name of the Lord.

And here's the biggest thing, the thing that hit home: not allowing circumstances to steal my joy. This is my battle. This is where I've been asking the Lord to fight for me. This is where I've been claiming Exodus 14:14, which says, "The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent." My friend explained it this way: when you value something, you can often times subconsciously allow your heartstrings to intertwine little by little into this thing. And when this thing goes up - well, you do, too, and all is well. But when this thing goes down, you fall along with it. Sometimes our low points come when the Lord has to clip those heartstrings away from things where they don't belong. Which is everything, minus one. The only One who deserves all of our affections, all of our devotion, all of our heartstrings, the fountain of all of our joy. Sometimes, he must clip them away before they have time to really take hold, in order to protect us from future pain. And yes, it is painful, but it must be done.

I guess this valley has been a rebuilding process for me. I've had my heartstrings clipped, but they are where they belong. They might sting a little, and I'm still being tested daily. But my heart will sing no other name than Jesus. It takes the fire to get us here, sometimes. But what a precious place to be. In the beatitudes, we see certain circumstances that Jesus calls blessed. They are blessed because they have nothing else to hold on to. They are at the end of their ropes. THAT, my friends, THAT place is where we encounter God for real. THAT is the blessing.

So, I don't know if, at the end of this journey, the things that I valued will still be there for me to delight in again, while still keeping all of my heartstrings wrapped around my God, or if there will be new joys gifted to me. Either way, I know that in the end, I will love him more, and what a treasure that is.

Walk

2011-04-11T04:11:00.000-07:00

Read this quote on my friend's facebook page. It really moved me, so I thought I'd share!

"Remember He is the artist and you are only the picture. You can't see it. So quietly submit to be painted, i.e., keep fulfilling all the obvious duties of your station (you really know quite well enough what they are!), asking forgiveness for each failure and then leaving it alone. You are in the right way. Walk - don't keep on looking at it." -C.S. Lewis

Freedom

2011-04-09T06:35:00.000-07:00

Did you know that it was for FREEDOM Christ has set us free?

What does that even mean?

I don't have a whole lot of answers, but I know what the Lord is teaching me, so I'll start there.

The topic of God's will has been a huge thing in my life the past few months (hence several of my recent posts). Am I in it? Do I know it? Can I find it? And then I realized all the questions I'd been asking concerning his will made it lots about ME, and not as much about his power. So, I talked to a friend, and he asked me several questions and really helped me to understand a few of the ways I'd been looking at it wrong. Let's look at scenario A. Imagine a straight line as "God's Perfect Will for My Life." Now, my view has always been: stay on the straight line, if you make a mistake and veer at any point, well, you're out of God's will and now he has to do certain things to bring you back. In this case, God is reactive. In this case, an imperfect person is being asked to follow a perfect plan. How well does that work out?

Now, onto scenario B. God in his foreknowledge and omnipotence saw each of my missteps from the beginning of creation and instead of punishing me for them by asking me to follow a perfect will anyway, he's proactive, not reactive. He orchestrates his perfect will for my life around those "mistakes" (now let's put them in parentheses) because he is sovereign. Sovereign - he rules supreme. How much more does that magnify him and his power? Like in every other situation of interaction between God and man - Jesus coming to earth being the prime example - GOD COMES TO US. He meets us where we are.

And so that leads me back to this idea of freedom. Having my eyes opened to this truth, how much more does that free me to walk unchained? If I really believe this in my life, my decisions, I'll be a lot less paralyzed by the "what-ifs" and a lot more free to live as I've been intended to. This is not a do-whatever-the-heck-I-want-to-because-God-already-knows-about-it card that I get to play whenever I want now. We've been given the Holy Spirit, with his convictions, for a reason. Sin is always contrary to God. More of what I mean is, if I'm not sure of God's leading 100% but I am faithful to pursue him and listen to his voice in me, I have no fear of the steps that I take, if they're "right" or "wrong". It means, to an extent, I trust my emotions (after all, they make great servants, though terrible masters). "The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps" (Proverbs 16:9). Yes, still be intentional about seeking God's will. "Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure" (Proverbs 4:26). But also know this: "For a man’s ways are before the eyes of the LORD, and he ponders all his paths" (Proverbs 5:21). God is all the more intentional. This means even though I don't know much, I walk in what I do know and God will take it from there.

So what do I know? Well, for starters, I do know for certain that God wants us to be in communion with him, always. He wants us to love him first, then love others. He wants us to pursue holiness as Christ was holy. He wants us to be his hands and feet. So, the working out of my salvation, my freedom, is doing these things and trusting God with the rest.

There have been times when I've had to make a decision, not certain one way or the other what was "right". I trust that God knows best. If God wants me going the direction I've chosen, I believe he will affirm me in that. If he doesn't, I still believe ultimately his plan includes my decision, and he's worked it so that I learn things along the way that he wants me to know, as he puts circumstances in my life to take me the direction he wants. But it's not in vain. That maximizes the glory he receives, and makes it all for my good as well. And isn't that what he said he's after anyway? Don't we all know Jeremiah 29:11? Time to start believing it!

But let's not stop there. Jeremiah 29:13 says, "You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart." Friends, God wants to be found. Sure, sometimes he may choose to be mysterious or aloof for a time to cultivate faithfulness, but in the fullness of his timing, he wants to be found. Jesus speaks to his disciples in Matthew 10:26, saying, "Have no fear, nothing is covered that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known." God speaks through the prophet Isaiah in chapter 42 verse 16: "And I will lead the blind in a way that they do not know; in paths that they have not known, I will guide them. I will turn the darkness before them into light, the rough places into level ground. These are the things I do, and I do not forsake them." God wants to be known. We are made in his image, and what is one of our greatest desires? To be known! To have another know us completely and understand us. I believe God is that way, too. And that reassures me in times when I feel like I don't know a thing. To know that the darkness will become light for me to see allows my heart to rest in his faithfulness.

I also must trust in his timing. Again in Isaiah, in chapter 48 God speaks this:

You have heard; now see all this; and will you not declare it? From this time forth I announce to you new things, hidden things that you have not known. They are created now, not long ago; before today you have never heard of them, lest you should say, 'Behold, I knew them.' You have never heard, you have never known, from of old your ear has not been opened. For I knew that you would surely deal treacherously, and that from before birth you were called a rebel. For my name’s sake I defer my anger, for the sake of my praise I restrain it for you, that I may not cut you off. Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tried you in the furnace of affliction. For my own sake, for my own sake, I do it, for how should my name be profaned? My glory I will not give to another.

God reveals things to us at the right time, when he knows we're ready. More freedom can be found here. Instead of trying to manipulate the things around us, we are free to live unbound when we know and believe that God will meet our needs, give us all that we need - physically and spiritually - at just the right time.

Oh, how I crave this freedom! And it is mine! It has been gifted to me through the sacrifice of my brother, my husband, Jesus Christ! Hallelujah, praise the Lord!

How will it change your life to truly walk and live in the freedom that Christ offers? Not bound to anything of the law, but locked onto God and his promises? Don't waste any more time - breathe in deeply this LIBERTY like you were always created to!

Resting on God

2011-03-26T09:52:00.000-07:00

Here's another Puritan prayer from the Valley of Vision.

O God Most High, Most Glorious,

The thought of thine infinite serenity cheers me,
For I am toiling and moiling, troubled and distressed,
but thou are for ever at perfect peace.
Thy designs cause thee no fear or care of unfulfillment,
they stand fast as the eternal hills.
Thy power knows no bond,
thy goodness no stint.
Thou bringest order out of confusion,
and my defeats are thy victories:
The Lord God omnipotent reigneth.
I come to thee as a sinner with cares and sorrows,
to leave every concern entirely to thee,
every sin calling for Christ's precious blood;
Revive deep spirituality in my heart;
Let me live near to the great Shepherd,
hear his voice, know its tones, follow its calls.
Keep me from deception by causing me to abide in the truth,
from harm by helping me to walk in the power of the Spirit.
Give me intenser faith in the eternal verities,
burning into me by experience the things I know;
Let me never be ashamed of the truth of the gospel,
that I may bear its reproach,
vindicate it,
see Jesus as its essence,
know in it the power of the Spirit.
Lord, help me, for I am often lukewarm and chill;
unbelief mars my confidence,
sin makes me forget thee.
Let the weeds that grow in my soul be cut at their roots;
Grant me to know that I truly live only when I live to thee,
that all else is trifling.
Thy presence alone can make me holy, devout, strong and happy.
Abide in me, gracious God.

God's will?

2011-03-22T07:18:00.000-07:00

The purpose of this blog is two-fold.

I'm doing the Relentless Acts of Justice through World Vision for lent this year. This week we are called to be vulnerable. As part of my challenge to myself, I've decided to share something with whoever reads this. Something personal.

Something that, exposed, will make me feel vulnerable.

In my time with the Lord yesterday, reflecting on the goals I've set for myself this lenten season, I realized something. I have always had a deep desire to be in the will of God. I've claimed that as the object of my ambition time and again, and yet... it dawned on me. I don't want to be in God's will because I want His best in my life. My desire isn't spurred on by the hope for utmost glory to God. No... no. My desire to be in God's will is out of fear. Fear that otherwise, I'll miss something. Fear that not being in His will means that my life won't be as "happy" as it could be.

Wow.

When I realized this, I broke down. For the past month or so, I've felt very poor in spirit... which is something I'd been praying for, but what that feeling brings with it is more than I bargained for. Nonetheless, I've been humbled time and again, and even when I don't feel like pursuing God, even when I want to give up, I can look and see Him, every single step of the way. Loving me even though I'm a failure. Pursuing me even when there is nothing desirable about me.

And still, is my desire for Him actually hiding a desire for ME? I hope that isn't true, but I know that sometimes, it is. I should want to be in God's will, each moment, each breath, not because of what good it brings me, but because of the way it will glorify God.

So, about three hours after I had this come-to-Jesus, I get an email from a woman at Brook Hills. I applied about a month ago for an internship with this church, a position I wanted very badly. Turns out, they never received my application and have already made their selections.

Gut-wrenching.

I burst into tears and for five minutes just sat in my chair, sweaty from my run, feeling sorry for myself. But then I realized something. I triple-checked the address before I mailed it, and I put extra postage, just in case. There is NO reason that my application shouldn't have made it to Birmingham, right where it belonged.

Except that it didn't belong.

How often do we pray for signs of God's will and then miss every flashing light along the way? If this isn't a clear indicator, I'm not sure what else is. All along, I've been praying that God would close doors and open others, so I would know for certain what His will is. How gracious of Him?!

This isn't God saying, "Nope, sorry, Leigh... better luck next time." Rather, it's Him gently whispering, "Beloved, trust me. I have plans for your life so much better than your own. Allow me to glorify myself in you, and then you will truly live." It's silly, but I have to remind myself often that God does love me. I think sometimes in my mind I try to make God human, and so I expect Him to stop loving me when I mess up. But God is GOD. Therefore His love is perfect. Therefore nothing I do or don't do will make Him love me more or less. Therefore He never stops seeking to perfect the work He has begun in me... no matter my flaws. Just because I've fallen short of Him by obeying selfishly doesn't mean He's throwing in the towel.

Even more, I'm cognizant of the fact that God is omnipotent AND omnipresent. He's all-powerful, always present. Not just in OUR present, but all places at all times. Therefore, He doesn't just know the future - He's there. And He sees everything I don't, on a much grander scale than I could ever fathom. His sovereignty is so far-reaching... to the ends of the earth and the depths of my heart. My sorry little outline of the life I think I want pales in comparison to the role God has me playing in His story. So a turn I don't understand from my point of view is perfect on God's map.

It reminds me of the verse, Romans 8:28:

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

Notice it doesn't stop after "good" but goes on to say, "for those who are called according to his purpose." Yes, things work out for our good, but what is that anyway? Our good is our fulfillment, our abundant living (John 10:10) and that comes when we are fulfilling the purpose of God - ultimately, making Him famous.

Where I am now is a place of total humility, recognizing that God's plan is divine and mine is not, His will is sovereign and mine is not, my life is His, not my own. And I've just got to keep learning, by the power of the Holy Spirit, how to live out this faith that I profess, minute by minute and day by day.

God, you are all-powerful, almighty, gracious and wrathful. You hold all things together and you work all things for good. Please give me a teachable heart, that I might learn to follow you not out of fear but out of joy. Joy that you have chosen me to play a small role in the great story of your renown. I love you.

Elisabeth Elliot

2011-03-01T13:53:00.000-08:00

I just started the book Beyond Gates of Splendor. Elisabeth Elliot is quickly becoming a hero of mine. Her total pursuit of the Lord and his will for her life is so very encouraging to me. I feel like she's been coming up in many of my conversations and thoughts recently, so I thought I would share some quotes of hers that have meant a lot to me. There are lots, but they are all so full of the Truth of our Father that you don't need to miss a single one.

"God never withholds from His child that which His love and wisdom call good. God's refusals are always merciful -- "severe mercies" at times but mercies all the same. God never denies us our hearts desire except to give us something better."

"This job has been given to me to do. Therefore, it is a gift. Therefore, it is a privilege. Therefore, it is an offering I may make to God. Therefore, it is to be done gladly, if it is done for Him. Here, not somewhere else, I may learn God’s way. In this job, not in some other, God looks for faithfulness."

"The world looks for happiness through self-assertion. The Christian knows that joy is found in self-abandonment. 'If a man will let himself be lost for My sake,' Jesus said, 'he will find his true self.' A Christian woman's true freedom lies on the other side of a very small gate---humble obedience---but that gate leads out into a largeness of life undreamed of by the liberators of the world, to a place where the God-given differentiation between the sexes is not obfuscated but celebrated, where our inequalities are seen as essential to the image of God, for it is in male and female, in male as male and female as female, not as two identical and interchangeable halves, that the image is manifested."

"God is God. Because he is God, He is worthy of my trust and obedience. I will find rest nowhere but in His holy will that is unspeakably beyond my largest notions of what he is up to."

"Does it make sense to pray for guidance about the future if we are not obeying in the thing that lies before us today? How many momentous events in Scripture depended on one person's seemingly small act of obedience! Rest assured: Do what God tells you to do now, and, depend upon it, you will be shown what to do next."

"Often a Christian man or woman falls prey to that cruel and vexatious spirit, wondering how to find marriage, who, when, where? It is on God that we should wait, as a waiter waits--not for but on the customer--alert, watchful, attentive, with no agenda of his own, ready to do whatever is wanted. 'My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him.' (Ps. 62:5 KJV) In Him alone lie our security, our confidence, our trust. A spirit of restlessness and resistance can never wait, but one who believes he is loved with an everlasting love, and knows that underneath are the everlasting arms, will find strength and peace."

"Restlessness and impatience change nothing except our peace and joy. Peace does not dwell in outward things, but in the heart prepared to wait trustfully and quietly on Him who has all things safely in His hands."

"Choices will continually be necessary and -- let us not forget -- possible. Obedience to God is always possible. It is a deadly error to fall into the notion that when feelings are extremely strong we can do nothing but act on them."

"Loneliness comes over us sometimes as a sudden tide. It is one of the terms of our humanness, and, in a sense, therefore, incurable. Yet I have found peace in my loneliest times not only through acceptance of the situation, but through making it an offering to God, who can transfigure it into something for the good of others."

The Valley of Vision

2011-02-25T11:01:00.000-08:00

Lord, high and holy, meek and lowly,

Thou has brought me to the valley of vision, where I live in the depths but see thee in the heights;
hemmed in my mountains of sin, I behold thy glory.

Let me learn by paradox
that the way down is the way up,
that to be low is to be high,
that the broken heart is the healed heart,
that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit,
that the repenting soul is the victorious soul,
that to have nothing is to possess all,
that to bear the cross is to wear the crown,
that to give is to receive,
that the valley is the place of vision.

Lord, in the daytime stars can be seen from the deepest wells,
and the deeper the wells the brighter thy stars shine;

Let me find thy light in my darkness,
thy life in my death,
thy joy in my sorrow,
thy grace in my sin,
thy riches in my poverty,
thy glory in my valley.

VITALLY IMPORTANT

2011-02-25T06:01:00.000-08:00

Over Thanksgiving break, I went to Guatemala and served for the week in an orphanage, Casa Bernabé. My friend and co-worker from last summer, Hamp, and I met our friend McKenzie at SIFAT in July when she was home visiting. See, she's from Louisiana, but she works/lives full time at the orphanage in Guatemala. So, she invited us to come down, and although I don't know if she actually thought we would, we made the plans!

I fell in love with the place. The kids, the staff, other volunteers, the land.

But the purpose of me writing is not to talk about my time there or my desire to one day go back. I met a guy named David, who is also from New Orleans and was the one who invited McKenzie to Casa Bernabé for the first time. Well, David needs your prayers. This is from his profile and explains the situation better than I can, so see for yourselves:

“I arrived at Casa Bernabé (orphanage where I have been living for a while now).

One day I went to the baby house here at the orphanage. One of the American girls who was watching the infants had her hands full. She asked me to take one of the crying babies into my arms. She handed me this small little girl and I just remember staring at that little face filled with tears and wishing that I could make her laugh and stop crying. After a few minutes she stopped. I asked what her name was and they said, “Her name is Juliet.”

Since that day, I have watched Juliet grow up. I have had the chance to spend time her everyday. I have taught her to be tough. She knows not cry when she falls down, she gets right back up and brushes herself off. She is intelligent. She is beautiful. She is brave. She isn’t scared of dogs. She loves riding in my car. She loves to laugh. She loves it when I throw her up in the air as high as I can. She loves going on walks with me. She loves when I carry her but knows that she needs to walk on her own too. She wears Saints shirts. She won’t let anyone but me hold her when I’m around. She cries when I leave the house. She is funny. She watches movies with me. She isn’t scared to play with the big boys in the house. She loves playing with sticks. She loves to swing. She loves to give me kisses. She loves to love me.

Everything that Juliet loves, I love about her. She is my baby. Juliet is the most amazing gift that I have received in my life and she IS my daughter.

This Monday she will be going to a court case, which could possibly send her to live with an uncle in the family. I can’t give details but the truth is that it will not be good for her. It is a delicate situation.

The bottom line is, in the beginning, I didn’t choose Juliet. She chose me. She is my life. I can’t imagine my life without her. I can’t imagine not being able to protect her and care for her.

This Monday is a vital moment in our lives. We need your prayers. We need your voices raised to the One who will bring justice and fight for Juliet.

Please pray."

Note

2011-02-23T07:57:00.000-08:00

A sweet friend left a note on my door last night. This is what it says:

"Child,

When you find yourself longing for everlasting, complete happiness given from above, and long to depart from your tired soul so that you may see my glory, open your heart wide and drink in this holy inspiration. Give fullest thanks to the heavenly Goodness that treats with with descent from on high, visiting you Mercifully, stirring you up and powerfully lifting you up so that you will not fall down to earthly things by your own weight.

Daughter, the desires of some ablaze toward heavenly things, but yet they are not free from temptations of worldly affection. Do not ask what is delightful and profitable to you, but what is acceptable to Me and is for My Honor. I know your desire and have heard your grief. You long to enjoy liberty of the children of God and to be full of Joy. But that hour is not yet present. There still remains a time of fighting, labor, and trial.

It is I. Wait For Me. you must be tried on this earth and tested by many things. You must put on the new self. You must often do what you do not want to do, and leave undone what you would prefer to do. When others succeed, you will not. Others will be praised, while you remain unnoticed. To others, this office will be committed, but you will be accounted fit for nothing. But consider, beloved, the fruit of your labor, how quickly the trials will end, and their great Reward. Rather you will have the solace to strengthen your patience.

One day, in heaven with Me, you will have all that you can desire. There you will have within reach all good, without fear of losing it. There, your will, always being with mine, will not want any outward or selfish thing. There, no one will resist you, hinder you, or stand in your way. All things you desire will be present to Replenish your love. But now, child, at present, Bow yourself humbly under it all. And let this be your constant desire, that whether in life or death, I may always be Glorified in you. Wait a little while, and bear this cross courageously; life everlasting is worthy of all these conflicts.

If you could only see the saints in heaven who are rejoicing now, who in times before were struggling before like you, truly you would quickly humble yourself to the ground, and not long for pleasant days in this life, but instead Rejoice to suffer distressing trials in My name. If you allow these things to sink deeply into your heart, how dare you complain even once? Should not all labors gladly be endured? It is no small thing to lose or gain sight of the kingdom of God. For what you love, you will take delight in. Lift your eyes and strengthen your weak knees, for the King of Glory will sustain you. Endure with steadfast hope in what I promise."

Let that truth seep into your heart and your mind. Even if you're hurting, even if your trial seems unbearable, take heart, have good courage, and remember that you serve a just and merciful God who loves you.

A story of trusting God

2011-02-21T06:15:00.000-08:00

I know a girl who is struggling to trust God right now. She felt the Lord calling her to do something that every bit of her flesh was against. Yet she prayed for the Lord to open up to her an opportunity to do the hardest thing of her life, and he gave her one, so obviously that she knew what she had to do. Now, the pain she is experiencing is great. She described it to me as a deep emotional abyss, and that she can physically feel the anguish in her heart. In total honesty and vulnerability, she shared with me some of her fears: that she would feel this hurt, be stuck in this abyss, forever and that someone's heart would be hardened against her and that she would be too scarred to ever be okay again and that the loss of a best friend is too great to bear.

I think what's making it most difficult to not be angry with God right now is that following him has caused her this much pain. It's not everyday that you go running to someone who hurts you. What she has to remember, though, is that it isn't the Lord who is hurting her. He is testing her, making sure that when she says, "God, you are enough for me. You are all I need. Even if my hands are emptied of everything else, I am satisfied in you," that she means it.

God doesn't break us to leave us broken. He breaks us to rebuild and restore. He takes us through the fire so we can come out on the other side more holy. It just hurts to be broken, it burns to pass through fire.

Since she made this tough decision, she has been racked with doubt and uncertainty that is surely of the flesh. So not only must she trust God that what he called her to do was right, but she must trust him completely with her heart and her future. God knows best, that's what I tell her. And he knows the difference between good and best, when it comes to our lives and our future, and especially timing, even when we don't see it at all.

Someone once told me that our lives are like blankets on a loom. We can only see the underside - the one that isn't that beautiful, with the extra threads hanging all over the place and the knots visible. But God, the Crafter, works from the other side and sees the bigger picture, the masterpiece. Another friend told me recently that God is a Painter, and even when it looks like there's a mistake, a stray mark of paint or a wobble, that he uses it to make the finished product even more beautiful and more unique. After all, no two blankets or paintings are the same, are they?

My friend said one of the hardest things is not being able to physically feel God right now, in her time of suffering.

It's hard, isn't it? It would be so easy if God were sitting on the couch with us, holding our hand, walking us through our hard times while telling us audibly how much he cares about us and how special we are to him. But he doesn't do that.

Why?

I think maybe that it's more sanctifying for us and glorifying to him to put our faith in him without seeing him, trusting him when our human eyes are only capable of seeing this human world. But I heard a wise man say that the spiritual realm is so much more real than the meager world we're in. After all, we don't have a soul.. we ARE a soul. We just have a body. So for us to get beyond this world and trust in the other is very glorifying to God, and to him be all glory.

So, right now, she has a decision: to continue trusting God. She knows that he is strength for today and hope for tomorrow. Each morning she will wake up, renewed, trusting that the Lord will provide her daily bread. Just make it through each moment, and God will give her the faith and the courage and the strength that she needs then. In that moment. And then renew it for the next. She said she has to be careful of not looking too far ahead, and like Lot's wife, not looking back, but trusting God right now. Because he is enough. She is satisfied with her hands emptied of everything else, even if it doesn't always feel good. She sees some purpose in her suffering.

The most important thing in her life, she said, is that God is glorified. And while it's difficult to stick by that when it feels like her heart is crumbling into little pieces that maybe won't fit all back together the right way again, she is more certain than ever that the goal of her life is to see God's glory and make it known here on earth.

Because he is good. He is loving. He is working together for the good of those who love him.

He is enough.

And she knows that the purpose of running to him is not to get relief of her pain, to receive blessing after blessing, to get a glimpse of her future, or get strength not her own. The purpose of running to God is to get GOD. He is the prize.

Even in pain, even in suffering, even in heartache, HE IS THE PRIZE.

Joy

2011-02-11T10:59:00.000-08:00

I make no excuses for having neglected this, my space of reflection and introspection and gratitude and acquired knowledge. In the ebb and flow of time and emotions, life happened, and I, being swept along with it, was much too distracted by the goings-on around me to heed much attention to my lowly blog.

But, being a time of new beginnings, as I have always viewed the springtime, I have been so compelled to share a few thoughts.

Joys:
1. The friends that I don't deserve.
2. The sun warming up the air today, although still not at a comfortable hammock temperature.
3. Music that stirs my heart and leads me to tears.
4. Watching friends plan weddings.
5. People I love in Spain, Guatemala, and Bolivia.
6. Diet Coke.
7. Trials
8. Cleanliness and organization.
9. Watching children play, and the affection in their small hands.
10. The smell of coffee in the morning.
11. Old friendships rekindling.
12. Letters in the mail.
13. Big smiles.

Anyone thinking, "Uhh.. #7? Do you mean, like.. Olympic time trials?"

Let me expound.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith producing perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work, so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

Maybe we've read that a lot. I have, and yet, while I think I always said, "Yeah, James, so true. Let's still have joy even when times are hard," I'm not sure that I actually did. Or even understood it. Until now. And while I don't claim to understand completely or have anything figured out, because I don't, I do think the Spirit has enlightened me a little bit as to what that's really like.

Trials do two things for us. First of all, like James says, testing leads to perseverance leads to maturity. Hopefully, if we continue to seek the Lord in tough times, at the end of them, we'll look more like Jesus. And isn't that the goal of our lives? It's not always mine, that's certain, but it should be, and I try to make it be. Second of all, any comfort or ease or happiness that is sacrificed and laid at the feet of Jesus when we endure trials shouldn't even be considered a sacrifice, for what we are gaining - more of Jesus - is so much greater. Trials let us show the world that these earthly things are not our treasure, but Christ is.

Flags

2010-10-12T14:23:00.000-07:00

Today is the day.

Brooke Fraser's new cd hit the American scene. I bought it during my Spanish class (...) and haven't stopped listening to it yet.

My favorites?

-Who are we fooling?

-Something in the water (the single)

-Crows & Locusts

This album is so good! I was talking to my friend Taylor about it earlier, and we both agree that it's so much more real, more honest, more raw. He used the word organic, if you will, and I must admit, it's appropriate. It sounds less produced than her previous albums. She's definitely evolved as an artist and is exploring more sounds, more styles, more ways to use her voice.

It's amazing.

Go buy it now!

We've Got Love On Our Side

2010-09-20T14:58:00.000-07:00

Today is a lovely day.

This morning, I woke up early... 5:45ish. I went for a run. The air was so crisp and swirled around me as I jogged east down Samford Ave. It was still dark when I got started, but soon, I saw a large orange sun rising over the trees. I witnessed the most beautiful sunrise I've seen in a while. The clouds framed it just right. It was picturesque. I stopped in the cemetery to do some dryland exercises, and continued on my way. It was just so peaceful. I felt God.

I came home and sat out on our front porch to spend time with the Lover of my soul. I read in Isaiah, and he spoke a lot of truth into my life. I love this book. I was able to get a lot of good prayer time in, and made new notecards for the week, of verses and prayers.

Today is a lovely day.

Here's a song that's been frequenting my iPod speakers...

May my prayer like incense rise before You
I'm lifting up my hands as sacrifice
Oh Lord Jesus turn Your eyes upon me
For I know there is mercy in Your sight

Oh God, You are my God
And I will ever praise You
Oh God, You are my God
And I will ever praise You

To all creation I can see a limit
But Your commands are boundless and have none
So Your Word is my joy and meditation
From the rising to the setting of the sun

All Your ways are loving and are faithful
The road is narrow but Your burden light
Because You gladly lean to lead the humble
I shall gladly kneel to leave my pride

Oh God, You are my God
And I will ever praise You
Oh God, You are my God
And I will ever praise You

I will seek You in the morning
I will look to walk in Your ways
And step by step You'll lead me
And I will follow You all of my days

True Living = Serving

2010-09-15T06:56:00.000-07:00

"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others." -Gandhi

Isn't this so true?

When do you feel most fulfilled? For me, it's when I've completely forgotten any self-interest and egotism and devoted myself fully to another.

Obviously, that means something. That God created us to be in service, to love Him and others WAY more than ourselves. Simple concept.

Oh, Lord, let my life reflect this simple statement.

Where I Am Today

2010-09-13T05:27:00.000-07:00

Oh, to grace, how great a debtor daily I'm constrained to be.

Let Your goodness, like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to You.

Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, prone to leave the God I love.

Here's my heart, Lord, take and seal it.

Seal it for your courts above.

Quote of the Week

2010-09-06T21:30:00.000-07:00

“These places of worship are not built that you may sit here comfortably, and hear something that shall make you pass away your Sundays with pleasure. A church in London which does not exist to do good in the slums, and dens, and kennels of the city, is a church that has no reason to justify its existing any longer. A church that does not exist to reclaim heathenism, to fight with evil, to destroy error, to put down falsehood, a church that does not exist to take the side of the poor, to denounce injustice and to hold up righteousness, is a church that has not the right to be. Not for thyself, O church, dost thou exist, any more than Christ existed for himself. His glory was that he laid aside His glory…To rescue souls from hell and lead to God, to hope, to heaven, this is the church’s heavenly occupation. O that the church would always feel this.”

-Charles Spurgeon

Little Bird

2010-08-27T14:31:00.000-07:00

This morning, I woke up to the most beautiful song of a sweet little bird outside my window.

Usually, when I'm abruptly awoken, I'm not a happy camper. But this darling melody was so pleasant that it didn't bother me one bit.

I asked the bird if he would do this every morning, but he didn't understand English.

So I whistled at him, and he flew away. I thought it was a nice try.

A Franciscan Blessing

2010-08-15T08:19:00.000-07:00

"May God bless us with discomfort at easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships, so that we may live deep within our hearts.

May God bless us with anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that we may work for justice, freedom and peace.

May God bless us with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation and war, so that we may reach out our hands to comfort them and turn their pain into joy.

And may God bless us with enough foolishness to believe that we can make a difference in this world, so that we can do what others claim cannot be done."

Die

2010-08-09T19:45:00.000-07:00

You know those times where there's something you REALLY need to hear, and God knows it, and He's tired of beating around the bush about it? I had one of those times one Village Day at camp this summer. I was really worn down, a little discouraged, irritated by everything, and even though I'd perfected the art of faking it, I didn't have a good attitude of the heart.

At the lowest point of my day, Laura Paulk, my precious friend and co-worker, came around to all the counselors and without speaking a word, gave us each a sheet of paper with the following printed on it:

DYING TO SELF

When you are forgotten or neglected or purposely set at naught, and you sting and hurt with the insult or the oversight, but your heart is happy, being counted worthy to suffer for Christ

-that is dying to self.

When your good is evil spoken of, when your wishes are crossed, your advice disregarded, your opinions ridiculed and you refuse to let anger rise in your heart, or even defend yourself, but take all in patient loving silence

-that is dying to self.

When you lovingly and patiently bear any disorder, any irregularity, or any annoyance, when you can stand face to face with waste, folly, extravagance, spiritual insensibility, and endure it as Jesus endured it

-that is dying to self.

When you are content with any food, any offering, any raiment, any climate, any society, any attitude, any interruption by the will of God

-that is dying to self.

When you never care to refer to yourself in conversation, or to record your own good works, or itch after commendation, when you can truly love to be unknown

-that is dying to self.

When you see your brother prosper and have his needs met and can honestly rejoice with him in spirit and feel no envy nor question God, while your own needs are far greater and in desperate circumstances

-that is dying to self.

When you can receive correction and reproof from one of less stature than yourself, can humbly submit inwardly as well as outwardly, finding no rebellion or resentment rising up within your heart

-that is dying to self.

Author Unknown

And.. I just laughed, because God could not have been more obvious.

Now, I suppose, is an appropriate time

2010-08-06T22:56:00.000-07:00

Summer 2010. Check.

I could upload pictures, I could search for eloquent words, I could write a novel.

Or, I could make a list.

I MISS:

(Bolivia [May 14-24])

-My Bolivian friends Ruber, Job Saúl, Wendy, Betsabet, Moises, Hernán, Wilfredo, Tomás, and Jonathan.

-The view from the top of the Andes Mountains.

-Being engulfed by kids every afternoon at the Clinic Registration desk... and putting stickers on all of their faces.

-Watching Brittany and Jordan in their element at VBS, loving on children exactly how they were made to.

-The smell of no showers for 10 days (actually... do I miss that?)

-The toothless smiles.

-Speaking Spanish ALL OF THE TIME.

(SIFAT [May 25-June 31])

-The Bunkhouse Porch and its unrivaled View of the Sun's Parting.

-Seeing the Milky Way and Shooting Stars on Hamp's blanket with my seven best friends.

-My Seven Best Friends (in no particular order, Hillary, Taylor, Hamp, Lauren, Leah, Bryan, and Carter).

-The Feel of Cool Creek Water on my ankles as I "forded it."

-Impromptu worship (through music) sessions.

-The Shield, our counselor Devotion Book.

-County Road 88! and all of my friends there.

-The Rush of Post-Dinner Global Village Prep on Tuesdays.

-Playing Baywatch every Thursday at Flat Rock.

-The Yellow Llamas: Sarah, William, Erin, Amanda, Cody, Michael, Brian, Will, Katelyn, Chris and Caleb.

-The Yellow Pumas: Jake, Annika, Luke, Parker, Haley, Alex, and Noah.

-The Yellow Jacket Jam Bombs: Adam, Janie, Haley, Marie, Porter, Brayden, Lauren, Shelby A, Shelby B, and Jack.

-The Yellow Fever: Forrest, Emily, Kirsten, Becca, Lou, Mason, and Maria.

-The Yellow Cobras: Danielle, Greg, Hannah, Kiana, Becky, Stephen, Amber, Sarah, and PICKLES.

-The Yellow Submarines: Madison, Taylor, Luke, Parker, Jackson, Mary Caitlyn, Victoria, and Andy.

-The mist over the fields in the Early Morning Time.

-My bunkbed.

-Seeing the way Hillary folded herself up during her sleep.

-The Floral and Polka Dot coffee mugs Lauren and I drank from each morning.

-Shaving legs at Old Aldea every Sunday with Carter & the Quintards.

-Dance parties to our favorite songs in the Caf and in the Quonset Hut.

-The incredible Food prepared by our one and only Miss Lola Mae Wright.

-John the Gardener and all of his beautiful gardens.

-Fresh veggies every Village Day.

-Mary the nurse and the squeaky laugh and her lisp.

-Laura the photographer/videographer and her fake cry/vom.

-Mountain Man Dave Corson and his immense knowledge of everything.

-Nate the Great, and sitting around listening to him play guitar.

-Raphael, my Nigerian brother, and his smile.

-Vicky and her mealworms.

-Flex Staff 4eva.

-Waking up bright and early every morning, not wasting the day.

-The walk to and from the Market on Village Day because it marked a pivotal point each week.

-The phone game.

-Enjoying blueberries right off the bush.

-The Aaron Carter dance.

-The regularity of my bowels - always after morning devo (tmi?).

-Mexico Lindo ¡y Que Rico!

-Praying with the counselors before we gave our talks.

Someone this summer described SIFAT as a "thin place," meaning that the distance between you and God is thinner there than other places. This is what I loved most, and will miss most. The simplicity. Life with fewer distractions. Life where you don't have to always be making time to encounter God. It's impossible to go a day, an hour, a minute, there without meeting Him. Back in "the real world" it's not the same.

Which leads me into the topic of my next post (for another day, soon): what God taught me that has changed me irreversibly.

(If you're reading this, I'm sorry. This is mostly for my own benefit. I don't want to forget anything about my summer. However, if you are, let this simply be a testament to God's faithfulness and provision. He is good, all of the time, and even when I was unfaithful, my faithlessness does not nullify the faithfulness of God, and He continued to move and to tie up my loose ends. He moved in the most incredible of ways the whole summer long. All praise and all honor and all glory be to Him.)

Song of the Week

2010-05-04T23:38:00.000-07:00

"C.S. Lewis Song"

If I find in myself desires nothing in this world can satisfy,
I can only conclude that I was not made for here.
If the flesh that I fight is at best only light and momentary,
then of course I'll feel nude when to where I'm destined I'm compared.

Speak to me in the light of the dawn.
Mercy comes with the morning.
I will sigh and with all creation groan as I wait for hope to come for me.

Am I lost or just less found? On the straight or on the roundabout of the wrong way?
Is this a soul that stirs in me, is it breaking free, wanting to come alive?
'Cause my comfort would prefer for me to be numb
And avoid the impending birth of who I was born to become.

Speak to me in the light of the dawn.
Mercy comes with the morning.
I will sigh and with all creation groan as I wait for hope to come for me.

For we, we are not long here...
Our time is but a breath, so we better breathe it.
And I, I was made to live, I was made to love, I was made to know you.
Hope is coming for me...
Hope, He's coming...

Speak to me in the light of the dawn.
Mercy comes with the morning.
I will sigh and with all creation groan as I wait for hope to come for me...

Still?

2010-03-21T00:49:00.000-07:00

Well,

It's late. Past midnight. So I guess it's officially March 21, 2010 (Happy 1st Anniversary to Patrick and Lauren Smalley!!!).

But that's not why I'm writing. Sorry guys. I do love y'all.

No, what's really got me up is the fact that after more than 10 months of not being in Spain, my heart is aching painfully to be there.

I don't mean to sound depressed. I'm not at all. I know I'm in Auburn for a reason, and the Lord has blessed me with so many things here. I do love it.

It's just that, I don't know, I felt so at home in Spain. With my host family, with my awesome Spanish friends, in my Spanish church, living in the gorgeous city that is Valencia. I probably think and dream as much in Spanish as I do in English these days.

I do try not to think about it, but I can't seem to go a single day without my thoughts wandering to that place and those people.

Why do I long for it like this?

I wish I had an answer to that question. One key to contentment is to never picture yourself in any other circumstances than those in which you presently find yourself. Isn't that exactly what I'm NOT doing when I desire Spain?

I won't deny, part of it has to do with the stark contrast between my life free of responsibility in Spain to that of rigorous schedule and demands here in Auburn. Yeah, there's something appealing about that.

But my ultimate conclusion is that I'm a Spaniard at heart :)

And tonight, I'm really struggling with being here and not there.

SIFAT

2010-03-01T10:05:00.000-08:00

AHHHHH!!!!

I'm still in the freaking-out stage, but I just found out about an hour ago that I've been offered a counselor position for this summer at SIFAT! That OF COURSE I'm going to accept!

I applied last month, and have been anxiously awaiting this news ever since. There are 4 girl and 4 guy counselors, out of a whole lot of applicants, and I feel SO blessed, beyond any words I could muster, to have been appointed by the Lord to this high calling!

SIFAT, Servants In Faith And Technology, is a missions organization that, throughout the year, hosts leaders from third-world nations and teaches them how to use different technologies to effectively alleviate some of the greatest problems they face - lack of clean water, food, efficient power sources, etc. They are committed to sharing God's love in practical ways.

During the summers, they host youth groups, at their campus in Lineville, AL, and teach practical ways to serve where the Lord has called us to - in our everyday lives.

I fell in love with SIFAT when our college ministry took a retreat there in January. Their heart is SO outwardly focused. They are 100% obsessed with God and his glory and self-forgetfulness! It's the best and I cannot WAIT to spend my summer with them!

I'll be posting more about SIFAT, I'm sure, as I walk through the coming preparation stages.

YAY!!!!

Love Day

2010-02-14T20:59:00.000-08:00

God knew everything about us, all our sins and dirtiness and failures included, before we even existed. And He still chose to create us.

That is love.

He called my name before the foundations of the Earth, for nothing that I've done, but because He is good and always seeks His glory.

That is love.

He calls us to follow Him, to find our identity in Him, because our lives divorced from Him are worthless and ineffective.

That is love.

He has a plan for our lives, that works for our good.

That is love.

He promises to never leave us or forsake us, and there is never a time where we have to do anything on our own.

That is love.

Love never gives up.

Love cares more for others than for self.

Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.

Love doesn't strut or have a swelled head.

It doesn't force itself on others,

Isn't always, "me first,"

Doesn't fly off the handle,

Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,

Doesn't revel when others grovel,

But takes pleasure in the flowering of truth.

It puts up with anything,

Trusts God always,

Always looks for the best,

And never looks back but keeps going to the end.

We have all sinned and fallen short of God, but He demonstrates His love for us, that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. That is the ultimate act of Love. He became sin who knew no sin that we might become His righteousness.

Hallelujah, Perfect Love!

And what has He called us to do?

Love the Lord our God with all of our heart, all of our mind, all of our soul, and all of our strength.

And

Love our neighbors as ourselves.

Today is a great day to recognize Love.

Now let's spend the rest of our lives actively pursuing it!

The Vision

2010-01-29T12:38:00.000-08:00

Here's a poem by Peter Greig.

So this guy comes up to me and says:
“What’s the vision? What’s the big idea?”
I open my mouth and words come out like this:
The vision?
The vision is JESUS – obsessively, dangerously, undeniably Jesus.

The vision is an army of young people.
You see bones? I see an army.
And they are FREE from materialism.

They laugh at 9-5 little prisons.
They could eat caviar on Monday and crusts on Tuesday.
They wouldn’t even notice.
They know the meaning of the Matrix, the way the west was won.

They are mobile like the wind, they belong to the nations.
They need no passport.
People write their addresses in pencil and wonder at their strange existence.
They are free yet they are slaves of the hurting and dirty and dying.

What is the vision?

The vision is holiness that hurts the eyes.
It makes children laugh and adults angry.
It gave up the game of minimum integrity long ago to reach for the stars.
It scorns the good and strains for the best.
It is dangerously pure.

Light flickers from every secret motive, every private conversation.
It loves people away from their suicide leaps, their Satan games.
This is an army that will lay down its life for the cause.
A million times a day its soldiers choose to loose,
that they might one day win
the great ‘Well done’ of faithful sons and daughters.

Such heroes are as radical on Monday morning as Sunday night. They don’t need fame from names. Instead they grin quietly upwards and hear the crowds chanting again and again: “COME ON!”

And this is the sound of the underground
The whisper of history in the making
Foundations shaking
Revolutionaries dreaming once again
Mystery is scheming in whispers
Conspiracy is breathing…
This is the sound of the underground

And the army is discipl(in)ed.
Young people who beat their bodies into submission.
Every soldier would take a bullet for his comrade at arms.
The tattoo on their back boasts “for me to live is Christ and to die is gain”.

Sacrifice fuels the fire of victory in their upward eyes.
Winners. Martyrs.
Who can stop them?
Can hormones hold them back?
Can failure succeed?
Can fear scare them or death kill them?

And the generation prays

like a dying man
with groans beyond talking,
with warrior cries, sulphuric tears and
with great barrow loads of laughter!
Waiting. Watching: 24 – 7 – 365.

Whatever it takes they will give: Breaking the rules. Shaking mediocrity from its cosy little hide. Laying down their rights and their precious little wrongs, laughing at labels, fasting essentials. The advertisers cannot mould them. Hollywood cannot hold them. Peer-pressure is powerless to shake their resolve at late night parties before the cockerel cries.

They are incredibly cool, dangerously attractive

Inside.

On the outside? They hardly care.
They wear clothes like costumes to communicate and celebrate but never to hide.
Would they surrender their image or their popularity?
They would lay down their very lives – swap seats with the man on death row – guilty as hell. A throne for an electric chair.

With blood and sweat and many tears, with sleepless nights and fruitless days,
they pray as if it all depends on God and live as if it all depends on them.

Their DNA chooses JESUS. (He breathes out, they breathe in.)
Their subconscious sings. They had a blood transfusion with Jesus.
Their words make demons scream in shopping centres.

Don’t you hear them coming?

Herald the weirdo's! Summon the losers and the freaks.
Here come the frightened and forgotten with fire in their eyes.
They walk tall and trees applaud, skyscrapers bow, mountains are dwarfed by these children of another dimension.
Their prayers summon the hounds of heaven and invoke the ancient dream of Eden.

And this vision will be.
It will come to pass;
it will come easily;
it will come soon.

How do I know?

Because this is the longing of creation itself,
the groaning of the Spirit,
the very dream of God.

My tomorrow is his today.
My distant hope is his 3D.
And my feeble, whispered, faithless prayer invokes a thunderous, resounding, bone-shaking great 'Amen!' from countless angels, from heroes of the faith, from Christ himself. And he is the original dreamer, the ultimate winner.

Guaranteed.

Jimmy Needham, I need him! :)

2010-01-24T13:18:00.000-08:00

Going back to my roots, here's a musical artist you may or may not have heard. Jimmy Needham.

My precious friend Jordan Lee and I were studying together Wednesday night at AK's Coffee, which, for those of you who don't know, is a Christian owned coffee shop. A lot of the music they play is by Christian artists. So we sit down to study but are immediately distracted by this amazing man singing to us about God's love being a hurricane. Like the dedicated students we are, we instantly begin searching the web to identify our mystery musician. We kept trying to liken him to other artists with whom we're all familiar - a little bit of Shane&Shane, some Shawn McDonald, a splash of Brandon Heath, and even some Amos Lee and Ray LaMontagne. You can see he's already shaping up to be quite the talent.

Finally, we figure it out. Jimmy Needham. The CD that was playing was his third album, Not Without Love. There is one captivating spoken song on there, the title song, that tells of the freedom we find only in God's love. We both bought the CD right away, and since then, I've been listening to the pure truths God speaks through Jimmy.

Really, you should go check him out.

God's promises

2010-01-21T22:50:00.000-08:00

In preparing for d-group this past week, I came across a chapter of the Bible that I know I've read before, but the Lord brought to light a whole new meaning in his words. May I share with you what he's teaching me?

The girls have requested topical lessons. The first week was trust. To be honest, I did the typical Leigh thing and waited until Monday night to really work on the lesson for Tuesday night. I prayed for God to move despite my procrastination. He is so faithful.

I worked from Psalm 91. The Bible I usually use is in the English Standard Version, but I'm going to quote my New King James Version for this.

Bear with me. It's only 16 verses.

1. He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty

2. I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress; My God, in Him I will trust."

3. Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the perilous pestilence.

4. He shall cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you shall take refuge; His truth shall be your shield and buckler.

5. You shall not be afraid of the terror by night, nor of the arrow that flies by day,

6. Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness, nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday.

7. A thousand may fall at your side, and ten thousand at your right hand; but it shall not come near you.

8. Only with your eyes shall you look, and see the reward of the wicked.

9. Because you have made the Lord, who is my refuge, even the Most High, your dwelling place,

10. No evil shall befall you, nor shall any plague come near your dwelling;

11. For He shall give His angels charge over you, to keep you in all your ways.

12. In their hands they shall bear you up, lest you dash your foot against a stone.

13. You shall tread upon the lion and the cobra, the young lion and the serpent you shall trample underfoot.

14. "Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him; I will set him on high, because he has known My name.

15. He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him and honor him.

16. With long life I will satisfy him, and show him My salvation."

I don't know about you, but there are a few verses that jump out to me. First of all, in verse one it talks about dwelling in the Lord. To me, when I think about dwelling in something, naturally my mind goes to a sort of shelter (like in v. 2)... but if you think about the word dwell in a different sense, another meaning is emphasized. Dwell also means to think, speak, or write at length about, or to linger on. Not only should we make the Lord our refuge, but he should captivate our thoughts. He alone is worthy of our idle thoughts and every motivation of the mind.

In verses 5 and 6, David talks about the terror of the night and the pestilence that walks in darkness, the arrow that flies by day and the destruction at noonday. All of which we DON'T fear because we trust God. But what are each of those things? Those cloaked by night are like the uncertainties, that which we can't see, future plans, etc. Those in daylight are other afflictions we might bear, such as enemies, personal temptations, etc. But again - none of these things merit our worry or fear because God will deliver us, and His truth is our shield! Hallelujah!

Can you just look back to verse 11? He gives the angels charge over us, or as the ESV states, he commands his angels concerning us to guard us in all our ways. HOLY COW! Not only do we have the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords protecting us, but the angels have been commanded to guard us, too! We really do have guardian angels!

Finally, verses 14 through 16. Eight beautiful, eternal, enduring promises of God. Rest in these. Rest in these truths.

1. He WILL deliver us.

2. He WILL protect us.

3. He WILL answer us.

4. He WILL be with us in trouble.

5. He WILL rescue us.

6. He WILL honor us.

7. He WILL satisfy us.

8. He WILL show us salvation.

Now, these are from the ESV translation, but God's word is the same. God is so eager to bless us. He wants to reward us and fulfill his promises to us! He is a loving God, and when we realize that we will never be satisfied unless He is most and we are least, the blessings abound! And no matter what version you read, you should note that it NEVER says, he might deliver us, if he feels like it or if his week has been alright or if he draws our names out of a hat. It says that he WILL. These are his promises, to him who has set his love upon the Lord.

May the power of the divinely spoken Word wash over you today, and may you find peace in his promises for you!

A Thought

2009-12-16T23:54:00.001-08:00

Delighting in God is not a mere preference or option in life; it is our joyful duty and should be the single passion of our lives.

My Heart Is Full

2009-11-08T19:01:00.000-08:00

Do you ever have moments in your life when you temporarily disconnect yourself, take a step back, and just marvel at all that the Lord has blessed you with?

This weekend has been filled with those moments!

The past few weeks have been difficult, for a number of reasons, and my faith has been pushed and stretched. I can see how the Lord has been growing me through situations in my life and asking me to cast my burden on him. Not long ago he gave me Psalm 55 and called me to recklessly abandon myself and allow him, and nothing else, to sustain me.

Through these trying times, I still see His hand in my life. Ah, how awesome to intimately know the One, the only one, who will never forsake me! My heart erupts within me at the thought!

The past few days in my life have really been a testament to the Lord's faithfulness. In his word, God promises that we will never be tried beyond our ability, but he will provide a way for us to endure it. Some of the strength he's given me came in the form of precious time with friends, new and old, this weekend. Friends who are also earnestly seeking God and his glory. It was a much welcomed respite from recent troubles.

From Thursday night dinner and Passion with Emily and Jeanna, to a Flashforward party with Amy, Byrd, Chris, Taylor, Dustin, Mary Hester, Paul, and more; from Friday's geocaching adventures and a night of intimate worship at The Edge, to a Saturday of Auburn football with the Jumpsuit Guys; from time with my favorite family, Emily, Guy, Meredith, Hutch, and Kathleen Bess, to Sunday morning worship at AUMC and lunch with Brandon, Kevin, Garrett, Luke, and Chrisavi... it is so clear to me that God placed me in each situation by his divine will, so that I might be encouraged by the fellowship of other believers.

And you know, he is not finished with this current work in my life. Like Paul, in his letter to the Philippians, I am sure that the Lord, who has begun a good work in me, will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.

He has given me hope. Bring on the trials! I know that God is for me - who can triumph against me, now?

So to all my friends - thank you! Thank you for letting God use each of you minister to me in the simplest of ways.

May your week be filled with the hope of Christ, with rest in the knowledge of our victory in his name, and with abundant blessings! May your heart be open to all that the Lord is teaching you!

Movie Picks

2009-10-20T16:12:00.001-07:00

Hello, one and all. I haven't really been listening to any new music lately. I've been stuck on Needtobreathe since the concert, and that's okay, because they are a worthy... adhesive? Nevertheless, I don't have weekly picks for you. At least not songs.

How about movies? I love those things, too.

Here are some of my all-time favorites:

1. Apocalypto - directed by Mel Gibson. It's set toward the end of the Mayan civilization. It's epic. It has subtitles throughout, but don't let that deter you.

2. Roman Holiday - Starring Audrey Hepburn and heartthrob Gregory Peck, this black and white favorite is most definitely a hit. It's set in Rome, as you could probably gather from the title. Audrey's a princess sick of being a princess, Gregory is a reporter looking for a story... and you'll have to watch it to know the rest!

3. Fight Club - Edward Norton and Brad Pitt punching each other alot. Makes for a rather excellent movie. A must see for pyschology students!

4. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - Weird memory-erasing theme. I like this movie because it engages you, makes you think. Jim Carrey plays a very atypical role, for him, and Kate Winslet is phenomenal as always.

5. Legends of the Fall - An epic set in Montana in the early 1900's. Stars Brad Pitt and Anthony Hopkins. This movie affected me for weeks after I watched it. I loved it so much I immediately went out and bought it.

6. The Departed - The 2006 Academy Award winner for Best Picture. Stars Leonardo DiCaprio, Matt Damon, Jack Nicholson, Mark Wahlberg, Martin Sheen and Alec Baldwin. It's about the Irish mob in Boston and dirty politics. Impeccably made.

7. Hotel Rwanda - True story of a hotelier and his effort to save hundreds during the 1994 Rwandan Genocide. It breaks your heart and opens your eyes.

8. Gladiator - What an incredible motion picture! Russell Crowe delivers a fantastic performance as a soldier taken captive and forced to fight in the Coliseum. If you haven't seen this, you're crazy. Go rent it now.

9. Hot Rod - Andy Samberg. Hilarious. The essence of humor.

10. LOTR - This proves my nerdiness, but the trilogy (extended editions, please) are some of the greatest movies of all time. I should clarify. Lord of the Rings. Adapted from J.R.R. Tolkein's greatest works, these epic films of war and grandeur are worth the time (total: 11 hours, 8 minutes).

Enjoy!

I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas

2009-10-18T21:12:00.000-07:00

In my dream last night, I was indoors, waiting for the rain to go away, when suddenly, the rain turned to snow. The flakes were huge, the size of quarters at least, and perfectly formed, each one unique. It was quite a sight to behold.

I ran out the front door to the white blanket that had unfolded over all the green, but instead of taking it all in, I was more concerned with finding my camera (I was especially intent on using my digital macro setting) so I could capture the beauty. By the time I found it, the snowflakes had melted.

I think God was trying to tell me something.

I find myself easily caught up in future events, or past events, that I often forget to enjoy the present time that I've been blessed with.

I'm making it my goal to enjoy each day's snowflakes as they come.

Thanks for dreams, Lord.

I'd Rather Pick Flowers Instead Of Fights

2009-10-14T17:01:00.001-07:00

It's been awhile since I've posted. I just finished (today) my second round of exams, so my lack of posting can be accredited to the fact that the past two weeks I've had to put my life on hold. Sorry about that.

Lots to report!

The first weekend in October was spent in Birmingham, visiting Sarah and Clay in their very charming new home and going to the NEEDTOBREATHE concert with my roommate, Emily, and other sweet friends! Definitely one of the best concerts I've been to. The Workplay Theater is wonderful and intimate. It was just really nice to spend a few days out of Auburn.

Also, after 6 exams, I still have A's in my classes! That's a miracle! I'm thanking the Lord for that. Let's just hope it stays that way through the end of the semester.

I'm currently working on my spring break plans. It seems crazy to already be thinking about it, but apparently you have to reserve spots pretty far in advance. I'm going to hike part of the Appalachian trail! I'm going with my friends Jeanna, Starlyn, Zach and Alex, thus far. We may recruit one or two more. I'll keep you posted on further AT developments.

And finally, the big news. I finally decorated my wall! I ended up cutting a tree out of felt and just tacking it to the wall along with my Euro photos. All in all, it was a very inexpensive endeavor, costing me a grand total of about $15. And I LOVE it. I still have to cut out the bible verse, but other than that, it's complete! I also hung lanterns over my music area. Here are some photos:

Now, since I've missed two weeks, I feel like I owe you some picks :) This week it's some of the songs on my Recently Played playlist on iTunes. Enjoy.

Briefly:

1. Beautiful - Kari Jobe

2. Sail Away - David Gray

3. Both Hands - Ani Difranco

4. Summerlong - Emm Gryner

5. Two Step - Dave Matthews Band

6. Zebra - John Butler Trio

7. Pretzel Logic - Steely Dan

8. Life in the Fast Lane - The Eagles

9. Learning to Fly - Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers

10. Never Know - Jack Johnson

No commentary. Just take my word. Also, the website I use for the blog's playlist allows you to listen to songs in their entirety for free. Check it out here! Maybe you can find some of my picks!

Wake-Up Call

2009-09-29T20:31:00.000-07:00

Have you read Francis Chan's Crazy Love? I read this book last year in community groups with Encounter, and now my d-group is reading it.

I must not have been paying attention last fall, because I feel like these words are all news to me! I love how God does that. Emphasizes different things to us, in different seasons of our lives.

In d-group, we discussed chapter 2 tonight, entitled 'you might not finish this chapter.' It's all about worry and stress. I want to share with you Francis' definitions of the two.

Worry implies that we don't quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives.
Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace towards others, or our tight grip of control.

Wow.

Marinate in that for a moment.

How true is that? My brother quoted me something recently, that 'worrying is temporary atheism.' And the truth is, when we worry, when we get stressed out and anxious, we are denying that there is anyone or anything more important in our lives than that which we're stressing over.

Furthermore, when we stress and worry, we're living in sin. We are to rejoice in the Lord, always. Even in the hard times. Even in the stressful times. We are to have an attitude of joy!

Feeling convicted yet?

I know I am. I think how often I make the world about me. My day-to-day is so Leigh-centered sometimes that I lose, forever, precious opportunities to glorify the Lord, my chief end. And when I waste myself through my sin, in the words of A.W. Tozer, I am wasting "that which on earth is most like God. This is man's greatest tragedy and God's heaviest grief."

So what's the key? We have to get over ourselves. We have to deny ourselves, daily, pick up our cross, and remember that at any moment, the Lord could decide that he would gain more glory through our death than through our continued living, and at that moment, we're gone. Therefore, we must remember, we cannot forget, that we are nothing compared to the King, and nothing matters save his glory.

I encourage us, myself included, to remember whose we are. And that any life not bringing glory to the Creator of the universe and the Lover of our hearts, is a wasted one.

Don't waste it.

What You Should Be Jamming To This Week

2009-09-28T20:20:00.000-07:00

Hey darlings!

So this week, my picks salute the fine male musicians in this world :) This is not an exhaustive list, by any means, but I will venture to say that it contains many of our time's finest.

1. Can't Let Go - Landon Pigg

I've loved him for years now. I used to watch this music video and marvel at his amazingness. He's the man of my dreams ;) Anyway, he's actually in an upcoming movie called Whip It. Produced by Drew Barrymore and starring Ellen Page, Landon plays the love interest. If only I were Ellen..

2. Industry - Jon McLaughlin

Even more my perfect man, and Emily would agree, Jon could win any woman's heart with his piano. I love this song.

3. In Love With A Girl - Gavin DeGraw

This song is just great. He knows how to rock out, for sure, and the video is sweet!

4. Where We Gonna Go From Here - Mat Kearney

I love this guy, his lyrics, his style, everything. And he loves the Lord, too. He has such a soothing voice.

5. Jenny Don't Be Hasty - Paolo Nutini

He's Scottish and this song is seductive, but so great!

6. God Put A Smile Upon Your Face - Coldplay

Chris Martin is perhaps one of the greatest songwriters of all time. This is only a glimpse of the talent that is this man and his band of Brits.

7. No You Girls - Franz Ferdinand

I LOVE this band, and this song, in particular. I saw them at MTV Winter in Valencia this February, and it was so cool. Also Scots, the lead singer Alex Kapranos is dreamy.

8. Bunnies (Live) - Howie Day

A virtuoso guitarist, this one-man band is genius with loops and pedals and using his Tak as a djembe of sorts.

9. Slow Dancing in a Burning Room - John Mayer

If anyone can paint pictures with his lyrics, it's John. This song is beautiful on so many different levels. If you haven't heard it, find it now.

10. Hey Jude - The Beatles

The ultimate men of music.

A Day Late

2009-09-22T11:34:00.000-07:00

But 10 celebration songs the richer!

Sorry for my lack of posting yesterday. I don't have an excuse, really, except I wasn't home much. However, in light of all the birthdays going on around this apartment (Emily's 21st on Sunday and Rachel's 20th tomorrow) here's a brief list of the soundtracks we've made to our festivities:

1. I Gotta Feeling - The Black Eyed Peas

So I'm not really up on the latest pop music, but our fourth roommate, Natalie, keeps me in line. This is her theme song right now. I must say, it's catchy :)

2. Circus - Brittany Spears

I definitely never listened to this before Sunday, when Emily insisted it be played at the party! It's ridiculous, but nonetheless a fun song to just let loose to.

3. Party in the U.S.A. - Miley Cyrus

Because this teen queen knows how to do it right... ?

4. Diva - Beyonce

Because she wears insane 'sunglasses' in this music video.

5. Single Ladies - Beyonce

Because she can dance in ways no other human on the planet is capable of.

6. Paranoid - Jonas Brothers

Hanson, round two. And Emily's obsession :)

7. Don't Forget - Demi Lovato

Natalie's favorite tween star, this song is often played in E201. We like Demi because she's got real talent and actually plays her own music.

8. The entire album Unidos Permanecemos - Hillsong United

Yes, this is Hillsong. In Spanish. Because we all love to be culturally educated.

9. The Way I Feel - Matt Wertz

We love each other, and we can't help the way we feel about each other. So we express it through (listening to) music. Also, this song is just wonderful.

10. Human - The Killers

Great for a Castle Rave.

The time has come

2009-09-14T19:02:00.000-07:00

for another round.

Buckle your seatbelts.

Weekly Picks:

1. The entire album 'Ocean Eyes' - Owl City

My newest obsession, without a doubt. A really cool guy named Dustin introduced me to this music recently. It's just one guy, Adam Young, and he's amazing - such a pure voice. His lyrics are witty and smart and real, and the electronica-meets-pop style is just what everybody needs a bit more of. Favorites on the album: Hello Seattle, On the Wing, The Bird and the Worm, If my Heart was a House, Meteor Shower, Umbrella Beach.

2. Candy in the Sun - Swirl 360

From the soundtrack to Never Been Kissed, this song has one of my favorite choruses. There's something about the melody that I've adored since the first time I heard it.

3. Just Pretend - The Bens

The supergroup: Ben Kweller, Ben Folds, and Ben Lee. These guys toured together in Australia in 2003, and this is the best song off their collaborative album, in my opinion.

4. And So It Goes - Billy Joel

Takes me back to showchoir 2004-2005. King of the Ivory Keys, Billy Joel will not let you down with this beautiful, heart-breaking ballad.

5. Untouched - The Veronicas

I saw these sassy twins last year in Cashvegas, and knew I loved them from Moment One. This super techno song is GREAT for a poppin' work out mix.

6. I Will Follow You Into The Dark - Death Cab for Cutie

A true love song.

7. Two Weeks - Grizzly Bear

Another cool kid, Jake, played this music for me recently. I would highly recommend giving this a listen. While you're at it, check out the whole album, Veckatimest

8. Que 'Onda Guero - Beck

From his album, Guero, this song demonstrates the true essence of Beck as a songwriter.

9. Just Because - Jane's Addiction

Also from 2003, this is one of the greatest songs by the rock band, who actually reunited for second time last year. Lots of electric. Also great to run to!

10. Everytime - Donavon Frankenreiter

Very similar to Jack Johnson, which is fitting, because they are great friends, and Donavon sings on Jack's label. A nice song - he can sing it to me any day he wants ;)

Weekly Picks

2009-09-07T19:19:00.000-07:00

A little adventure. I put my iTunes on random, and here are the first 10 songs that played, barring one MCAT Audio File. I love all of them, and maybe someone else will, too :)

1. Alabama - Cross Canadian Ragweed

About as country as I'll go, this song is definitely a good southern rock classic in the making.

2. Get It Like You Like It - Ben Harper

This is off his album Both Sides of the Gun from '06, and I love it as much now as I did then.

3. Revelation Song - Kari Jobe

Funny that this song came up - I actually sang it yesterday at Resonate! It's such a gorgeous song, and Kari has a true spirit of worship. I really encourage you to check this one out!

4. I Don't Trust Myself (With Loving You) - John Mayer

John Mayer, honest as always.

5. What Would You Say - Dave Matthews Band

This song has sweet guitar leads, and there are wonderful sax and harmonica solos towards the end. With Carter Beauford's drumming and Dave's distinct voice, this is a treasure of the DMB collection.

6. Beautiful - Shawn McDonald

Last summer at Kamp, the Lord used this song to romance me in a way I'd never experienced before. Needless to say, it's been dear to my heart ever since.

7. Go Your Own Way - Fleetwood Mac

CLASSIC. Fleetwood Mac is a band that will never go out of style, and this song is a testament to that. Also - Guitar hero!

8. Prague - Damien Rice

He's Irish.

9. The Dress Looks Nice On You - Sufjan Stevens

Another Sufjan song that will steal your heart.

10. Associated - Ben Rector

A fellow Kanakuk guy, Ben Rector is the real deal. This song is off his sophomore album, Songs that Duke Wrote. It is nice, light pop rock that is very catchy and fun.

Start of something new (cue Zac Efron)

2009-08-31T11:24:00.001-07:00

Okay - I'm starting something new, and I am really excited about it!

I love lists, and I love music. It hit me that if I combine the two, I would have lists of music (novel, huh?). Now, it's also one of my favorite things to share music with people and advocate artists who, in my humble opinion, are worthy of said advocacy. Put all of this together, and you have Leigh's Weekly Picks.

From now on, each Monday, I'll post a little list of what I've been listening to recently, and hopefully, someone will take my word and check out something good.

NOTE: I by no means consider myself an expert, just one who appreciates.

Also, I am a huge proponent of iTunes Music Store, and would encourage everyone to get their music through here, or in stores. DO NOT DOWNLOAD ILLEGALLY - PLEASE! You are doing the musicians a disservice, and to be frank, piracy doesn't stand up morally. So, keep that in mind, sweet friends :)

Let's get this started, shall we?

Leigh's Weekly Picks:

1. The entire album The Outsiders - NEEDTOBREATHE

This album was recently released on August 25, 2009. With 14 songs, it is an album that you can easily put on loop and listen to several times through without getting bored or having to deal with a single "dud" track. My personal favorites: 'Something Beautiful', 'Prisoner', 'Girl Named Tennesse', 'The Outsiders', and 'Hurricane'.

2. Be Here Now - Ray Lamontagne

A very soothing, marine-like feel. His voice sneaks in and out of the music, making this wonderful study music.

3. Catch My Disease - Ben Lee

An honest guy with a cool accent. Such a great feel good song that will put a little bounce in your step and a little smile on your face.

4. Feeling Good - Michael Buble's version

If anyone can sing, it's Michael. With a jazzy brass edge to this classic song, MB brings it to the forefront of many of my Happy Playlists.

5. Plan B - Mute Math

This is one of my favorite jam-out-in-the-car songs.

6. Romulus - Sufjan Stevens

With a sweet banjo line, you're in for a real treat with this song. His voice is soft and sweet, and can serve has great background music on a fine evening.

7. Infancy of Us - Eliot Morris

I first heard Eliot Morris, also known as the lead of Parker's Back, in the 9th grade, opening in Auburn for a Sugar Ray concert. Don't judge, it was free. Anyway, I knew immediately that I liked his music, and bought his cd the next morning. This ballad is acoustic and honest and beautiful.

8. In Other Words - Ben Kweller

Old, but still amazing, and definitely one of my favorite piano songs.

9. November was white, December was grey - Say Hi

Has a beautiful syncopated beat. The vocals are warm and sometimes slurred in a cool way.

10. Your Love Never Changes - Paul Wright

His style is reminiscent of Shawn McDonald, but perhaps a bit more upbeat and poppy. This song will have you singing along and dancing in no time.

Hope you enjoy this music! Tune in next time ;) for another round of Leigh's Weekly Picks!

Music is what feelings sound like

2009-08-26T12:18:00.000-07:00

A few days ago, my roomie Natalie shared a youtube video with me. Now I want to share it with you.

A man named Jon Schmidt, an American pianist, composed an arrangement of Taylor Swift's Love Story and Coldplay's Viva la Vida. I've never been a huge fan of Taylor Swift, but I do like this song, and the way he plays is wonderful. He goes right into Coldplay, and it fits so well. He also has cello accompaniment. It's really beautiful music.

In the video, he might look a bit silly at times, but I love the way he feels the music. Being a pianist myself, I really appreciate his work. It inspires me! I want a grand piano, and I want to just play it all day long - and create! Maybe one day...

Well, here's the video. Hope you enjoy it!

The heart is a bloom...

2009-08-24T19:22:00.000-07:00

I think today merits a weather blog. I mean - WOW! I woke up this morning and spent some quality time with my Man, a cup of cereal, and some soy milk in the chair by our front window, but it wasn't until I stepped outside that I realized just how glorious a day the Lord had made!!! Well, everyday that we are blessed with is a glorious one simply because it means another day with our Creator, but today was especially amazing :)

And honestly, I've been giddy since 7:30 this morning because of the premature Fall weather. I know, trust me I know, it probably won't stay this perfect through the season. It's bound to heat up again. But I relished it with all my heart.

Emily and I walk to our 8:00 class together MWF's, and it is such a sweet time. Today, I couldn't stop smiling/giggling/carrying on about the weather, and Emily was just incredible for putting up with me.

Another highlight of my day was lunch with my boyfrands. I have an hour break MWF's at 11, and Jacob and Lee do too, so the three of us went to Momma G's and hung out. It was nice getting to see them since I don't ever get to enough.

This afternoon, I spent time with one of my very favorite families - the McClains. I kept the kids while Em ran errands, and got to visit with her some too. It is always a blessing to spend time with my dear friend, and I always leave there so encouraged!

Finally, the icing on the cake that was this brilliant day - being measured for my BRIDESMAID'S DRESS! That's right. Sarah Bolton is getting married January 9, 2010, and I am so excited for her! Sadly, she was working when I went over to her house, so I didn't get to see her, but we have some hangage pending, and I am really looking forward to it!

Well, my friends, it's my prayer that every one of you found joy today in the weather, and even on yucky days, you have the joy of Jesus Christ!

Starting Again

2009-08-20T09:19:00.000-07:00

A new semester. I can't believe it. My junior year in college has commenced. It sounds old, but I don't feel old.

ROOMIES! Rachel, Emily, Natalie and me

Well, things have gotten off on the right foot. Recruitment this year was great. I think every sorority had such a great year, and I'm definitely satisfied with ADPi's new pledge class. We had four Auburn girls find their home with us - Katelyn Boston, Anna Marie Harris, Landrum Isaacson, and Shelby Selman - and I couldn't be more excited! The rest of the class is just as wonderful.

Katelyn's first diamond picture

Ice Water Teas!

All the ADPi's that live in the Castle

Favorite sophomores

Recruitment was also so great because I got to know a lot of girls in my sorority who I'd never really known before. AND I finally saw my roommate from last year, Lauren Keith, who I hadn't seen since January!

Lauren and me :)

Some Auburn girls!

Rachel, La, me and JLee

With my big, Camilla, on her last bid day!

As for classes, I'm taking 17 hours. SEVENTEEN! I've only ever taken 15, so this will be a new adventure, no doubt. I've got Microbiology, Biochemistry I, Statistics for Biological and Health Sciences, Spanish Syntax, and Music Appreciation. With two labs, of course.

I've got a good feeling about this semester. It feels different, that's for sure. Not living on campus is playing a huge role in this feeling. I do love walking to class. I sometimes sweat a lot, but that's okay.

There are also several new things on my plate for this fall. Most of which come from AUMC College Ministry - with Dive and small groups. I'm looking forward to all of it. Lana and I are still leading our sweet d-group girls, who are juniors in high school now. Way crazy.

Well, that's the update! Hope to post again soon :)

Frame Arrangements

2009-07-26T21:58:00.000-07:00

In my ongoing attempt to settle into my new home, I've reached a roadblock. There is a huge stretch of wall space next to my bed, and I need to fill it. I have lots of pictures, mostly ones I took during my semester abroad, that I've touched up and tweaked to my satisfaction. But now, I have no idea how I should arrange them. If you look at the first picture from my previous post, you can see the empty wall space I'm referring to. Here are the pictures I've chosen to hang:

and of course...

Now, my dilemma remains in the hanging of said pictures. I've looked up some arrangement ideas, and the results I like most are as follows:

Does anyone have input? I like the ledges idea, but is it too crowded? I have quite a few pictures, and so I'm afraid if I put them all in uniform frames, it will be too much. What do y'all think?

For the past MONTH...

2009-07-23T19:49:00.000-07:00

How time has slipped away from me! Many apologies for my lack of blogging these past few weeks. Much has happened in my life, and I would love to share!

On July 1, I earned some age points as I moved into my new place! I now reside at 420 E Magnolia Ave - The Castle Apartments! And boy, do I feel like a princess here. After 2 years of sharing a room (which was never a real chore, due to my rad roomies Alli, Lauren, and Lindsey) I finally have the luxury of my own room, own bathroom, and own closet! That's of lot of "own's" - consider me spoiled. In fact, my roommates here in the Castle (Natalie, Emily, and Rachel, who have all yet to move in) each have their own room, bathroom, and closet as well. And we have a nice kitchen, and big living room, and a huge laundry room. I just love it. There is still so much to be done as far as décor goes, but here are some photos to give you an idea of my pad:

On the 4th and 5th, I began working back in the nursery at the hospital! It's really educational, and I am obsessed with holding all those sweet babies. I saw two C-sections, which for me, was very neat.

Also, on the 4th, after work, I went to Duck Samford to watch the fireworks with some amazing friends: Charlie and Rebecca (who are getting married one week from TOMORROW!!!), JMo, Brother Charles, Allison Kajs, Big Daddy, and Sims. Here's a pic of the girls:

The night before, Brooke and Pitts had come over to see my place, and we ended up making an American flag cake! It was great time spending time with my precious girlfriends.

On the 12th, we had a wonderful family lunch for Big Lyd's 6th birthday! We went to Laredo's, and the attendees were Lydia, myself, Lexi, Mom and Dad, John, Nonet and the boys, Mailon and Griffin, and Aunt Sharon and Haven. We told our waiter it was Lyd's birthay, and they brought out a cute kid's sombrero and some fried ice cream - she was beside herself!

All of last week, I helped with Sweat Week, AUMC's in-town mission trip. I also had the privilege of singing with the band at platform hour every night. And Thursday, we headed up to Tennessee to raft down the Ocoee river on Friday! It was great fun!

In my down town, I've been studying, trying to catch up with precious friends, enjoying some recent ideal weather, and getting excited about classes ending in a couple of weeks!

From now on, I will try to be more consistent with my postings!

Birthday Bash!

2009-06-23T20:13:00.000-07:00

This is a few days late, but this past Friday night, June 19th, on the eve of my dear friend Sarah's 20th birthday, we had a wonderful girls' night!!

The festivities began with a delicious meal at Amsterdam. We all dressed up fancy and sat on the patio for a couple of hours, enjoying the sweet smell of summer nights and the lazy laughter of long-time friends.

Those in attendance: Brooke Rush, the blond bombshell, Jordan Lee Spencer, the Broadway babe, Sarah Bolton, the birthday broad, and of course, myself. Our meals were incredible. We each got something so delicious and divine, almost dreamlike. Not to mention the birthday dessert we were treated to at the end!

After our appetites were appeased, we ventured to WalMart to pick up breakfast food for the morning time. In our quest, we ran into a dear ole Auburn High friend - Cierra Cobb. We caught up with her, and learned of her recent marriage to who seems like a fantastic husband AND a new baby on the way!

After we procured our provisions, we headed out to the Bolton residence.

We shimmied into our pajamas, and then the fun began. After a frivolous photoshoot,

we settled into our seats and put on our feature presentation: Fried Green Tomatoes. Sarah had been raving all day about the movie, and much to her disappointment, none of us succeeded in fighting the heaviness of our eyelids before we were 5 minutes in!

After a restful nights' sleep, we woke up and had biscuits and honey. JLee had to leave before enjoying the edibles, but other than that, the morning was magnificent and a wonderful way to begin the golden birthday of our dear Sarah B.

Revolutionary Road

2009-06-02T19:34:00.000-07:00

...came out on DVD today. I have been really anxious to rent it since I saw previews last year, and you better believe I was at Hastings this afternoon.

What a movie.

I won't go into much detail out of consideration to those of you who haven't seen it (although you should) but it basically chronicles the deterioration of a relationship. In this case, a married couple, but I think it can be representative of any relationship.

Right now I'm just struggling with my reaction. I liked the movie, of course. Both actors had some of their more outstanding performances, in my opinion. But it makes me wonder. Can relationships really become so distorted and out of focus, or is it just theatrics? The reason I'm having such a hard time is because I believe the former. That as a broken human race, we are not capable of having a perfect relationship. In any context. And seeing it in that movie really breaks my heart.

It's scary and discouraging. At the same time, I realize that the attitude we should take on is not one of fear or demoralization, rather of hope and perseverance. Because although we are incapable of obtaining anything other than imperfect relationships, the Lord can move beyond our imperfections and reconcile those relationships to himself. It's just a matter of putting him in the center of them.

Easier said than done, huh?

That's not something I've mastered. Quite the contrary, if I'm being completely honest. But what does it look like, to have a perfect relationship?

The very essence of who God is gives us the prime example. The Trinity - the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Three in one. Three in perfect, untainted and unmarred relationship with one another. If man had not fallen, our relationships would still look just like that.

I suppose that's what we should aim for then. I couldn't tell you really where to start. Sometimes just the resolution is as good a start as any.

P.S.

2009-05-31T20:37:00.000-07:00

I just took out my contacts for the first time since I've been home from Spain. Dovis and I sometimes argued about this. He would get mad at me for leaving them in so long, and I would retort that my contacts were meant to be worn for a while. He would insist that I take them out every night and protect my eyes. He wears contacts, and takes them out as soon as he walks in his house - ergo, he is always wearing glasses while at home, and while out, he is never caught without contact solution and eye drops.

For some reason, having my contacts out for the first time since Valencia makes me sad.

No art passes our conscience in the way film does, and goes directly to our feelings, deep down into the dark rooms of our souls

2009-05-31T15:54:00.000-07:00

If you know me, you know that I love movies. I've always really enjoyed them, but the obsession is relatively new, having blossomed over the past couple of years. I like a number of genres, but my favorite is probably historical dramas/action movies.

I'm writing this now because a couple days ago, I went on a movie spree. I do this pretty frequently, minus the past four months I spent in Spain. I usually buy from one of two places: the used DVD section of Hasting's (which is a hidden treasure - the DVD's are all in mint condition!) or the $5 stand in WalMart. If I really want a movie, I may just buy it full price, but I go to great lengths to avoid that.

The movies I bought the other day are Slumdog Millionaire, The Reader, The Pianist, The Patriot, and Legends of the Fall.

I'm also obsessed with older movies - Casablanca, Breakfast at Tiffany's, A Gentlemen's Agreement - AND all the movies that have won an Academy Award, especially for Best Picture. I have at least 30 of the Best Picture winners in my movie collection.

I couldn't tell you what it is about movies that I love so much. But boy do I love them. I've gotten to the point where I usually can't go to sleep at night without having something playing on my computer.

That's another thing. I prefer to fly solo when it comes to watching movies. Not that I don't like company. I just think it's an experience I would rather have by myself. Not to mention the fact that if I'm with other people, the likelihood of me falling asleep during the movie quadruples (studies have proven).

So, here's a list of some of my favorite directors, actors, and actresses. Just because.

Directors:

Ron Howard

Martin Scorsese

Ridley Scott

Baz Luhrmann

Steven Spielberg

Edward Zwick

Actors:

Gerard Butler

Gregory Peck

Adrien Brody

Leonardo DiCaprio

Mark Wahlberg

Russell Crowe

Johnny Depp

Brad Pitt

Paul Rudd

Actresses:

Kate Winslet

Julia Roberts

Hilary Swank

Amy Adams

Audrey Hepburn

Meryl Streep

Who else loves movies? And what are your favorites? I'm always looking for new movies to watch and enjoy!

How about a hand for cinema!

A Jewish Tradition

2009-05-24T19:27:00.001-07:00

I just wanted to share with everyone that I saw 2 circumcisions done today! Is that cool or what?

Don't be too jealous!

Can I Help You?

2009-05-23T21:06:00.000-07:00

DISCLAIMER: I am not violating HIPAA by posting the pictures in this blog because they were not taken by me, rather I found them on the internet, as examples.

----------------------------------------

I'm definitely a night owl, but as the clock strikes 11:00 on this Saturday night, I am in bed and dozing off already. Why? I just had my first day of work - 7a to 7p!

I started today at EAMC (East Alabama Medical Center) on the 3rd floor. The 3rd floor is the women's department which includes Labor & Delivery, Mother-baby, and Pediatrics. It's actually a perfect job for me because I just LOVE LOVE LOVE little kids.

Right now, I'm working the desk. My job is greeting patients and visitors, controlling traffic between the three departments, and monitoring the HALO infant security system. Hopefully in a few weeks, I will start training to be a tech on the floor in the Mother-baby unit. This will include taking infant and mother vital signs, bathing the infant, transporting the infant between room, nursery, etc.

Still, my desk is not far from the nursery window, so every now and then, I made my way over and just admired the little ones for a bit - felt like Grey's Anatomy or something!

Although my 12 hour shift was at times boring and not really physically demanding, it sure was long and took a lot out of me. Not to mention I went straight to a babysitting job after! But I am very excited about my new employment with EAMC (a company which has been named in Forbes as being in the Top 100 Companies to work for in the US 2 years in a row!). I am elated to be in a medical environment. Even after one day on the job, my choice in a career path was completely affirmed. I love it!

Just thought I would share with you!

Kathleen Bess McClain

2009-05-21T20:09:00.000-07:00

Almost two years ago, I got a phone call from a woman I didn't know. Her name is Emily, she and her family had just moved from Fayetteville, and being new in town, she didn't have a babysitter yet. She'd gotten my number from the Moore's Mill Fitness Center childcare department, and little did she know, she'd gotten herself the best babysitter in town ;)

She lined me up to babysit for the Auburn vs. Ole Miss football game. She, herself, is an Ole Miss alum. So I, like the good Auburn girl I am, showed up decked out in orange and blue - I'm talking football jersey and Auburn tattoos everywhere. Keep in mind that I had never met these people before. They, of course, were fun and welcoming, but she later told me that when she first saw me, she questioned her choice in me! Still, being a Southern girl herself, she knows football fidelity is next to godliness.

Since that day, the McClain family, Emily and Guy, with their children Meredith and Hutch, have come to be some of my greatest friends.

Now, this is where you come in.

Last Monday, May 11th, Emily gave birth, 2 months early, to a precious baby girl, Kathleen Bess.

Right now, Emily and Kathleen are in Birmingham. Kathleen is in the NICU at UAB Children's Hospital and will be there until July 13th, her original due date. Emily is staying in the Ronald McDonald house (ADPi!) in the meantime. Guy, Meredith, and Hutch are in Auburn. You can imagine how hard that is on a family. Children to be away from Mommy, husband from wife, and brother, sister and dad away from the newest addition to the family.

I want to invite you to join with me and countless other friends and family to pray for Kathleen. Pray that she grows and develops and becomes strong quickly so that she will be healthy and ready to go home in a few weeks. Pray for the doctors, that they will use all of their training and knowledge to treat Kathleen wisely and effectively. Pray for Emily, that she will have strength and rest, and that the Lord will comfort her when loneliness and heartache threaten to take over. Pray for Guy and Meredith and Hutch, while they are separated from their wife and mom and the new little one, that they, too, would have the strength to keep on.

Here is Kathleen's caring bridge site. I encourage you to visit it, so that in your prayers, you have a more tangible idea of what you're placing in front of the altar.

Now, get to praying, all you warriors!

A Lydia Dance-a-thon Photoshoot

2009-05-20T19:24:00.000-07:00

A new story, to whet your appetite for my newest blogging adventure.

Today, Lydia and I are watching TV while we have pizza for lunch, and the Swiffer commercial comes on. Now, I don't know if you've seen the newest advertisement they're employing, but at one point, the estranged mop is outside in the rain, while the song, "Don't you want me, baby?" plays.

If you don't know Lydia, she has a knack for picking up melodies and lyrics unnaturally quickly. True to her nature, she immediately begins singing along. So I join in, and by the end of the commercial, we have choreography and everything.

This inspired me. So, later in the afternoon, while I am studying up in my room, Lydia comes in all hyped and ready for another dance session. I turn on my iTunes, and Big Lyd just starts to go for it. I had to capture the moments.

Enjoy!