Still?

Well,

It's late. Past midnight. So I guess it's officially March 21, 2010 (Happy 1st Anniversary to Patrick and Lauren Smalley!!!).

But that's not why I'm writing. Sorry guys. I do love y'all.

No, what's really got me up is the fact that after more than 10 months of not being in Spain, my heart is aching painfully to be there.

I don't mean to sound depressed. I'm not at all. I know I'm in Auburn for a reason, and the Lord has blessed me with so many things here. I do love it.

It's just that, I don't know, I felt so at home in Spain. With my host family, with my awesome Spanish friends, in my Spanish church, living in the gorgeous city that is Valencia. I probably think and dream as much in Spanish as I do in English these days.

I do try not to think about it, but I can't seem to go a single day without my thoughts wandering to that place and those people.

Why do I long for it like this?

I wish I had an answer to that question. One key to contentment is to never picture yourself in any other circumstances than those in which you presently find yourself. Isn't that exactly what I'm NOT doing when I desire Spain?

I won't deny, part of it has to do with the stark contrast between my life free of responsibility in Spain to that of rigorous schedule and demands here in Auburn. Yeah, there's something appealing about that.

But my ultimate conclusion is that I'm a Spaniard at heart :)

And tonight, I'm really struggling with being here and not there.