Quote of the Week

“These places of worship are not built that you may sit here comfortably, and hear something that shall make you pass away your Sundays with pleasure. A church in London which does not exist to do good in the slums, and dens, and kennels of the city, is a church that has no reason to justify its existing any longer. A church that does not exist to reclaim heathenism, to fight with evil, to destroy error, to put down falsehood, a church that does not exist to take the side of the poor, to denounce injustice and to hold up righteousness, is a church that has not the right to be. Not for thyself, O church, dost thou exist, any more than Christ existed for himself. His glory was that he laid aside His glory…To rescue souls from hell and lead to God, to hope, to heaven, this is the church’s heavenly occupation. O that the church would always feel this.”

-Charles Spurgeon

Little Bird

This morning, I woke up to the most beautiful song of a sweet little bird outside my window.

Usually, when I'm abruptly awoken, I'm not a happy camper. But this darling melody was so pleasant that it didn't bother me one bit.

I asked the bird if he would do this every morning, but he didn't understand English.

So I whistled at him, and he flew away. I thought it was a nice try.

A Franciscan Blessing

"May God bless us with discomfort at easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships, so that we may live deep within our hearts.

May God bless us with anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that we may work for justice, freedom and peace.

May God bless us with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation and war, so that we may reach out our hands to comfort them and turn their pain into joy.

And may God bless us with enough foolishness to believe that we can make a difference in this world, so that we can do what others claim cannot be done."

Die

You know those times where there's something you REALLY need to hear, and God knows it, and He's tired of beating around the bush about it? I had one of those times one Village Day at camp this summer. I was really worn down, a little discouraged, irritated by everything, and even though I'd perfected the art of faking it, I didn't have a good attitude of the heart.

At the lowest point of my day, Laura Paulk, my precious friend and co-worker, came around to all the counselors and without speaking a word, gave us each a sheet of paper with the following printed on it:

DYING TO SELF

When you are forgotten or neglected or purposely set at naught, and you sting and hurt with the insult or the oversight, but your heart is happy, being counted worthy to suffer for Christ

-that is dying to self.

When your good is evil spoken of, when your wishes are crossed, your advice disregarded, your opinions ridiculed and you refuse to let anger rise in your heart, or even defend yourself, but take all in patient loving silence

-that is dying to self.

When you lovingly and patiently bear any disorder, any irregularity, or any annoyance, when you can stand face to face with waste, folly, extravagance, spiritual insensibility, and endure it as Jesus endured it

-that is dying to self.

When you are content with any food, any offering, any raiment, any climate, any society, any attitude, any interruption by the will of God

-that is dying to self.

When you never care to refer to yourself in conversation, or to record your own good works, or itch after commendation, when you can truly love to be unknown

-that is dying to self.

When you see your brother prosper and have his needs met and can honestly rejoice with him in spirit and feel no envy nor question God, while your own needs are far greater and in desperate circumstances

-that is dying to self.

When you can receive correction and reproof from one of less stature than yourself, can humbly submit inwardly as well as outwardly, finding no rebellion or resentment rising up within your heart

-that is dying to self.

Author Unknown

And.. I just laughed, because God could not have been more obvious.

Now, I suppose, is an appropriate time

Summer 2010. Check.

I could upload pictures, I could search for eloquent words, I could write a novel.

Or, I could make a list.

I MISS:

(Bolivia [May 14-24])

-My Bolivian friends Ruber, Job Saúl, Wendy, Betsabet, Moises, Hernán, Wilfredo, Tomás, and Jonathan.

-The view from the top of the Andes Mountains.

-Being engulfed by kids every afternoon at the Clinic Registration desk... and putting stickers on all of their faces.

-Watching Brittany and Jordan in their element at VBS, loving on children exactly how they were made to.

-The smell of no showers for 10 days (actually... do I miss that?)

-The toothless smiles.

-Speaking Spanish ALL OF THE TIME.

(SIFAT [May 25-June 31])

-The Bunkhouse Porch and its unrivaled View of the Sun's Parting.

-Seeing the Milky Way and Shooting Stars on Hamp's blanket with my seven best friends.

-My Seven Best Friends (in no particular order, Hillary, Taylor, Hamp, Lauren, Leah, Bryan, and Carter).

-The Feel of Cool Creek Water on my ankles as I "forded it."

-Impromptu worship (through music) sessions.

-The Shield, our counselor Devotion Book.

-County Road 88! and all of my friends there.

-The Rush of Post-Dinner Global Village Prep on Tuesdays.

-Playing Baywatch every Thursday at Flat Rock.

-The Yellow Llamas: Sarah, William, Erin, Amanda, Cody, Michael, Brian, Will, Katelyn, Chris and Caleb.

-The Yellow Pumas: Jake, Annika, Luke, Parker, Haley, Alex, and Noah.

-The Yellow Jacket Jam Bombs: Adam, Janie, Haley, Marie, Porter, Brayden, Lauren, Shelby A, Shelby B, and Jack.

-The Yellow Fever: Forrest, Emily, Kirsten, Becca, Lou, Mason, and Maria.

-The Yellow Cobras: Danielle, Greg, Hannah, Kiana, Becky, Stephen, Amber, Sarah, and PICKLES.

-The Yellow Submarines: Madison, Taylor, Luke, Parker, Jackson, Mary Caitlyn, Victoria, and Andy.

-The mist over the fields in the Early Morning Time.

-My bunkbed.

-Seeing the way Hillary folded herself up during her sleep.

-The Floral and Polka Dot coffee mugs Lauren and I drank from each morning.

-Shaving legs at Old Aldea every Sunday with Carter & the Quintards.

-Dance parties to our favorite songs in the Caf and in the Quonset Hut.

-The incredible Food prepared by our one and only Miss Lola Mae Wright.

-John the Gardener and all of his beautiful gardens.

-Fresh veggies every Village Day.

-Mary the nurse and the squeaky laugh and her lisp.

-Laura the photographer/videographer and her fake cry/vom.

-Mountain Man Dave Corson and his immense knowledge of everything.

-Nate the Great, and sitting around listening to him play guitar.

-Raphael, my Nigerian brother, and his smile.

-Vicky and her mealworms.

-Flex Staff 4eva.

-Waking up bright and early every morning, not wasting the day.

-The walk to and from the Market on Village Day because it marked a pivotal point each week.

-The phone game.

-Enjoying blueberries right off the bush.

-The Aaron Carter dance.

-The regularity of my bowels - always after morning devo (tmi?).

-Mexico Lindo ¡y Que Rico!

-Praying with the counselors before we gave our talks.

Someone this summer described SIFAT as a "thin place," meaning that the distance between you and God is thinner there than other places. This is what I loved most, and will miss most. The simplicity. Life with fewer distractions. Life where you don't have to always be making time to encounter God. It's impossible to go a day, an hour, a minute, there without meeting Him. Back in "the real world" it's not the same.

Which leads me into the topic of my next post (for another day, soon): what God taught me that has changed me irreversibly.

(If you're reading this, I'm sorry. This is mostly for my own benefit. I don't want to forget anything about my summer. However, if you are, let this simply be a testament to God's faithfulness and provision. He is good, all of the time, and even when I was unfaithful, my faithlessness does not nullify the faithfulness of God, and He continued to move and to tie up my loose ends. He moved in the most incredible of ways the whole summer long. All praise and all honor and all glory be to Him.)

Song of the Week

"C.S. Lewis Song"

If I find in myself desires nothing in this world can satisfy,
I can only conclude that I was not made for here.
If the flesh that I fight is at best only light and momentary,
then of course I'll feel nude when to where I'm destined I'm compared.

Speak to me in the light of the dawn.
Mercy comes with the morning.
I will sigh and with all creation groan as I wait for hope to come for me.

Am I lost or just less found? On the straight or on the roundabout of the wrong way?
Is this a soul that stirs in me, is it breaking free, wanting to come alive?
'Cause my comfort would prefer for me to be numb
And avoid the impending birth of who I was born to become.

Speak to me in the light of the dawn.
Mercy comes with the morning.
I will sigh and with all creation groan as I wait for hope to come for me.

For we, we are not long here...
Our time is but a breath, so we better breathe it.
And I, I was made to live, I was made to love, I was made to know you.
Hope is coming for me...
Hope, He's coming...

Speak to me in the light of the dawn.
Mercy comes with the morning.
I will sigh and with all creation groan as I wait for hope to come for me...

Still?

Well,

It's late. Past midnight. So I guess it's officially March 21, 2010 (Happy 1st Anniversary to Patrick and Lauren Smalley!!!).

But that's not why I'm writing. Sorry guys. I do love y'all.

No, what's really got me up is the fact that after more than 10 months of not being in Spain, my heart is aching painfully to be there.

I don't mean to sound depressed. I'm not at all. I know I'm in Auburn for a reason, and the Lord has blessed me with so many things here. I do love it.

It's just that, I don't know, I felt so at home in Spain. With my host family, with my awesome Spanish friends, in my Spanish church, living in the gorgeous city that is Valencia. I probably think and dream as much in Spanish as I do in English these days.

I do try not to think about it, but I can't seem to go a single day without my thoughts wandering to that place and those people.

Why do I long for it like this?

I wish I had an answer to that question. One key to contentment is to never picture yourself in any other circumstances than those in which you presently find yourself. Isn't that exactly what I'm NOT doing when I desire Spain?

I won't deny, part of it has to do with the stark contrast between my life free of responsibility in Spain to that of rigorous schedule and demands here in Auburn. Yeah, there's something appealing about that.

But my ultimate conclusion is that I'm a Spaniard at heart :)

And tonight, I'm really struggling with being here and not there.

SIFAT

AHHHHH!!!!

I'm still in the freaking-out stage, but I just found out about an hour ago that I've been offered a counselor position for this summer at SIFAT! That OF COURSE I'm going to accept!

I applied last month, and have been anxiously awaiting this news ever since. There are 4 girl and 4 guy counselors, out of a whole lot of applicants, and I feel SO blessed, beyond any words I could muster, to have been appointed by the Lord to this high calling!

SIFAT, Servants In Faith And Technology, is a missions organization that, throughout the year, hosts leaders from third-world nations and teaches them how to use different technologies to effectively alleviate some of the greatest problems they face - lack of clean water, food, efficient power sources, etc. They are committed to sharing God's love in practical ways.

During the summers, they host youth groups, at their campus in Lineville, AL, and teach practical ways to serve where the Lord has called us to - in our everyday lives.

I fell in love with SIFAT when our college ministry took a retreat there in January. Their heart is SO outwardly focused. They are 100% obsessed with God and his glory and self-forgetfulness! It's the best and I cannot WAIT to spend my summer with them!

I'll be posting more about SIFAT, I'm sure, as I walk through the coming preparation stages.

YAY!!!!

Love Day

God knew everything about us, all our sins and dirtiness and failures included, before we even existed. And He still chose to create us.

That is love.

He called my name before the foundations of the Earth, for nothing that I've done, but because He is good and always seeks His glory.

That is love.

He calls us to follow Him, to find our identity in Him, because our lives divorced from Him are worthless and ineffective.

That is love.

He has a plan for our lives, that works for our good.

That is love.

He promises to never leave us or forsake us, and there is never a time where we have to do anything on our own.

That is love.

Love never gives up.

Love cares more for others than for self.

Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.

Love doesn't strut or have a swelled head.

It doesn't force itself on others,

Isn't always, "me first,"

Doesn't fly off the handle,

Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,

Doesn't revel when others grovel,

But takes pleasure in the flowering of truth.

It puts up with anything,

Trusts God always,

Always looks for the best,

And never looks back but keeps going to the end.

We have all sinned and fallen short of God, but He demonstrates His love for us, that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. That is the ultimate act of Love. He became sin who knew no sin that we might become His righteousness.

Hallelujah, Perfect Love!

And what has He called us to do?

Love the Lord our God with all of our heart, all of our mind, all of our soul, and all of our strength.

And

Love our neighbors as ourselves.

Today is a great day to recognize Love.

Now let's spend the rest of our lives actively pursuing it!